4 definitions by Dr. Snark, PhD
Or です in Hiragana. Desu is the polite form of the copula in Japanese linguistics. This translates out to "to be" or "is". It's usually used at the end of a sentence as the predicate, or is used to make a sentence sound more polite. The plain/casual form for this is "da", or だ. Sentences that use the copula usually take on the form of "A is B" type sentences, although it can take on other moods depending on the grammatical particles that accompany it.
Unfortunately, the copula has been bastardized and misused too often by people who don't know anything about Japanese. If you want to sound like a complete fucktard, use desu at the end of your sentences while speaking in English, or use it excessively at the end of every sentence, even when the sentence doesn't require it to be used.
Unfortunately, the copula has been bastardized and misused too often by people who don't know anything about Japanese. If you want to sound like a complete fucktard, use desu at the end of your sentences while speaking in English, or use it excessively at the end of every sentence, even when the sentence doesn't require it to be used.
E.g., 1 - Stative sense
僕は心理言語学の大学院生です/だ - Boku wa shinrigengogaku no daigakuinsei desu/da - I am a graduate student in psycholinguistics.
E.g., 2 - Confirmatory sense
この映画は素晴らしいですね？- Kono eiga wa subarashii desu ne? - This movie is great, huh/don't you think?
E.g., 3 - Interrogative sense
Me: 日本語を学んでいる - Nihongo wo manande iru - I am learning Japanese.
ネイティブ日本語話者 (Native Japanese speaker): 本当に？いつから学び始めたんですか？Hontou ni? Itsukara manabi hajimeta n desu ka? - Really? When did you start learning?
Me: えっと、約7ヶ月間前に始めたばかりです/だ ただ初心者です/だ - Etto, yaku nanakagetsu-kan mae ni hajimeta bakari desu/da. Tada shoshinsha desu/da - Well, I just started about 7 months ago. I'm just a beginner.
ネイティブ日本語話者: そうか？じゃ、頑張れ！- Sou ka? Ja, ganbare! - Is that so? Well, do your best!
E.g., 4 Improper use
Stupid person who doesn't actually know or isn't learning Japanese: OMG! Isn't that cat so kawaii desu^_^?
Me: 糞食らえ！英語で話せば、「Kawaii desu」って言うな 愚かな野郎 - Kusokurae! eigo de hanaseba, "kawaii desu" tte iu na. Orokana yarou - Eat shit! If you speak in English, do not say "kawaii desu", you stupid fucktard!
Stupid person: Nani? Speak English!
Me: てめえにそんな事言われたくない！- Temee ni sonna koto iwaretakunai! - Look who's talking, dickhead!
僕は心理言語学の大学院生です/だ - Boku wa shinrigengogaku no daigakuinsei desu/da - I am a graduate student in psycholinguistics.
E.g., 2 - Confirmatory sense
この映画は素晴らしいですね？- Kono eiga wa subarashii desu ne? - This movie is great, huh/don't you think?
E.g., 3 - Interrogative sense
Me: 日本語を学んでいる - Nihongo wo manande iru - I am learning Japanese.
ネイティブ日本語話者 (Native Japanese speaker): 本当に？いつから学び始めたんですか？Hontou ni? Itsukara manabi hajimeta n desu ka? - Really? When did you start learning?
Me: えっと、約7ヶ月間前に始めたばかりです/だ ただ初心者です/だ - Etto, yaku nanakagetsu-kan mae ni hajimeta bakari desu/da. Tada shoshinsha desu/da - Well, I just started about 7 months ago. I'm just a beginner.
ネイティブ日本語話者: そうか？じゃ、頑張れ！- Sou ka? Ja, ganbare! - Is that so? Well, do your best!
E.g., 4 Improper use
Stupid person who doesn't actually know or isn't learning Japanese: OMG! Isn't that cat so kawaii desu^_^?
Me: 糞食らえ！英語で話せば、「Kawaii desu」って言うな 愚かな野郎 - Kusokurae! eigo de hanaseba, "kawaii desu" tte iu na. Orokana yarou - Eat shit! If you speak in English, do not say "kawaii desu", you stupid fucktard!
Stupid person: Nani? Speak English!
Me: てめえにそんな事言われたくない！- Temee ni sonna koto iwaretakunai! - Look who's talking, dickhead!
by Dr. Snark, PhD September 24, 2013
The Deepak Chopra of talk show hosts. A god to soccer moms everywhere, and an egregious blight on everyone else. While her work ethic and her ability to overcome the horrid obstacles of her early life should be admired, she uses her platform as one of the most influential women on the planet to peddle woo, promote empty, platitudinous feel-good pop psychology horseshit, and give a prominent platform for the often-harmful advice of hacks and charlatans (see Dr. Phil, "psychologist", Dr. Oz, energy-healing quack, Jenny McCarthy, anti-vaccine kook, and, again, Deepak Chopra, for prominent examples). Every time she's on air, she has the opportunity to provide the truth and give people useful information to live by, but instead, kowtows to quackery, clapping like a trained seal in the process. As such, her influence does a disservice to the critical thinking skills of the general public, and should be considered nothing but a pus-filled carbuncle - nay - a malignant cancer on the asshole of Reason by any person who values their critical faculties. Fuck Oprah, and everything that snake oil-peddling, self-important cow stands for!
Bob: Did you watch Oprah Winfrey yesterday?
Greg: No, why?
Bob: She had a psychic come on the show to discuss her new book about crystal healing being used to cure cancer, and why you don't needn't consult a medical professional for treatment any longer. And the stupid, mindless pack of sycophantic soccer moms gobbled it up like it was the fucking Gospel!
Greg: *facepalm* This is why we can't have nice things!
Greg: No, why?
Bob: She had a psychic come on the show to discuss her new book about crystal healing being used to cure cancer, and why you don't needn't consult a medical professional for treatment any longer. And the stupid, mindless pack of sycophantic soccer moms gobbled it up like it was the fucking Gospel!
Greg: *facepalm* This is why we can't have nice things!
by Dr. Snark, PhD October 25, 2013
A tiny-fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret-wearing, anus-lipped, narcissistic bag of flaming methane that's managed to convince borderline retarded voters to nominate him for the Republican presidential candidate. He has done so by continuously exploiting the fears and prejudices of said stupid people, whipping them into a frothing, xenophobic frenzy. It doesn't take a psychologist to see he is simply just a manipulative sociopath who doesn't actually have any political ideology. Evidence for this comes from the fact that he's flip flopped on many of his positions, and having been very buddy-buddy with the Clintons in years past. Any of his solutions to problems are so pathetically one-dimensional that a two-year-old could dissect them, and when asked about the specifics of how he's going to execute these plans, he is never able to. But his supporters are complete sheep, so they gobble it up like it was manna sent from heaven. For The Donald, he is in the race for one thing, and one thing only: The Donald. The people supporting him are just a means to an end (see: useful idiots). When you're in a race with Hillary Clinton, and you're dumb enough to nominate someone who is an even bigger megalomanaiacal sociopath than she is, you fucked up.
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are completely unlikable, and are completely unelectable. Miraculously, Trump manages to make Clinton look like a saint in comparison (I just puked in my mouth typing that). There is only one viable option, now that the American electorate has fucked up so miserably: Sweet Meteor of Death-Cthulu 2016. Just end it already.
by Dr. Snark, PhD August 5, 2016
A particularly virulent strain of super AIDS discovered in the late 2000s. Etiologically speaking, it is thought to be transmitted by the vacuous, semen receptacle and proud walking advertisement for abortion that is Canada's own trainwreck, Justin Bieber. Symptoms include:
- In men, the loss of external genitalia, and displays of extreme faggotry are the first signs of the onset of this disease. This is accompanied by trying to dress like the tool (saggy pants that make it look like you just shit yourself anyone?), and using words like "Swag" like a retarded sheep.
- Hemorrhaging of the ears
- Explosive diarrhea
- Projectile vomiting
- Crysturbating in a dark room to Justin Bieber posters and blowup dolls that you shamelessly hide from your parents
- Atrophy of higher cortical structures in the brain. Global signs of dementia and profound mental regression are extremely common in later stages. Critical-thinking faculties are the first thing to go, followed by grammatical processing, spelling, and response inhibition. The loss of response inhibition manifests as Tourette's-like outbursts against anyone who has enough brains to dislike the turd, usually to this other person's amusement. Eventually, the patient's cognitive faculties are all but lost, rendering them zombies.
Other symptoms include everyone who hasn't caught it finding you insufferably obnoxious and wanting nothing to do with you anymore.
- In men, the loss of external genitalia, and displays of extreme faggotry are the first signs of the onset of this disease. This is accompanied by trying to dress like the tool (saggy pants that make it look like you just shit yourself anyone?), and using words like "Swag" like a retarded sheep.
- Hemorrhaging of the ears
- Explosive diarrhea
- Projectile vomiting
- Crysturbating in a dark room to Justin Bieber posters and blowup dolls that you shamelessly hide from your parents
- Atrophy of higher cortical structures in the brain. Global signs of dementia and profound mental regression are extremely common in later stages. Critical-thinking faculties are the first thing to go, followed by grammatical processing, spelling, and response inhibition. The loss of response inhibition manifests as Tourette's-like outbursts against anyone who has enough brains to dislike the turd, usually to this other person's amusement. Eventually, the patient's cognitive faculties are all but lost, rendering them zombies.
Other symptoms include everyone who hasn't caught it finding you insufferably obnoxious and wanting nothing to do with you anymore.
There is no known cure for Bieber Fever that results in the patient surviving. The only known way to cure Bieber Fever completely is with a bullet to the head.
by Dr. Snark, PhD December 1, 2013