28 definitions by Dinkum

According to Kurt Vonnegut, a twerp is a guy who:

(1) sticks a set of false teeth up his butt and bites the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (Not to be confused with a "snarf");
(2) hasn't read either Ambrose Bierce's "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" or Alexis de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America".
"Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls' bicycles.)

"And I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read the greatest American short story, which is "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", by Ambrose Bierce. . . . It is a flawless example of American genius, like "Sophisticated Lady" by Duke Ellington or the Franklin stove.

"I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read "Democracy in America" by Alexis de Tocqueville. There can never be a better book than that one on the strengths and vulnerabilities inherent in our form of government."

-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
by Dinkum July 08, 2013
A guy who derives pleasure from running around sniffing girls' bicycle seats. (Not to be confused with a "twerp").
"Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls' bicycles.)

-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
by Dinkum July 08, 2013
A common delusion afflicting the self-styled "nice girl" (who may be either male or female), which consists of the mistaken belief that he/she is soooo superior to the "great unwashed" masses that he/she is excused from the indignity of being subject to the same natural bodily functions as the rest of us. One specific sense of the word denotes sexual frigidity -- i.e., "nice girls" don't have orgasms; they only submit to sexual intercourse in order to fulfill their duty to God and Country.
The girl acts as though she had a Tastee Freez dispenser up her butt. Pretends the thought of having sex has never entered her mind. Yeah, right, and nice girls shit ice cream.
by Dinkum July 08, 2013
' To be thoroughly equipped with weapons. ' -- Wiktionary.

To visualize this, just imagine a boarding party of pirates leaping onto the deck of the merchant ship they mean to plunder, each pirate with a dirk clenched firmly between his teeth, each armed with a cutlass and a brace or two of flintlock pistols. (The real-life pirate Blackbeard further jazzed things up by twisting the ends of his bushy black beard into tendrils, which he then dipped into hot tallow. And just before he leaped from his ship onto the hapless merchantman, he would set his improvised candles on fire. The ignited candles transmogrified his face into the terrifying nightmare spectacle of the arch-demon escaped from Hell).

' She was already dressed for the party at the Country Club, already dominating a distinguished company she had yet to join.

' As she handed Paul his cocktail, he felt somehow inadequate, bumbling, in the presence of her beautiful assurance . . .

' The expression "armed to the teeth" occurred to Paul as he looked at her over his glass. With an austere dark gown that left her tanned shoulders and throat bare, a single bit of jewelry on her finger, and very light make-up, Anita had successfully combined the weapons of sex, taste, and an aura of masculine competence.

' She quieted, and turned away under his stare. Inadvertently, he'd gained the upper hand. He had somehow communicated the thought that had bobbed up in his thoughts unexpectedly: that her strength and poise were no more than a mirror image of his own importance, an image of the power and self-satisfaction the manager of the Illium Works could have, if he wanted it. In a fleeting second she became a helpless, bluffing little girl in his thoughts, and he was able to feel real tenderness toward her. '

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1952 novel "Player Piano" -- Chapter IV (page 35).
by Dinkum August 26, 2013
November 11, formerly observed in the United States in commemoration of the signing of the armistice ending World War I in 1918. Since 1954 it has been incorporated into the observances of Veterans Day.

-- American Heritage Dictionary, 4th Edition

"So this book is a sidewalk strewn with junk, trash which I throw over my shoulders as I travel in time back to November eleventh, nineteen hundred and twenty-two.

"I will come to a time in my backwards trip when November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy . . . all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month.

"It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.

"Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not.

"So I will throw Veterans' Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don't want to throw away any sacred things.

"What else is sacred? Oh, "Romeo and Juliet", for instance.

"And all music is."

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Preface (page 6).
by Dinkum August 01, 2013
A person suffering from or subject to coprolalia, the obsessive and uncontrollable use of scatological language. (Compare with such like back-formations as insomnia and insomniac; hypochondria and hypochondriac; coprophagia and coprophagiac; coprophilia and coprophiliac).
The "jailin' it" droopy-drawers doofus was a COPROLALIAC: he suffered from "the Black man's disease", the utter inability to assemble even the simplest English sentence without lavishly larding his utterances with a plethora of "fuckers", "motherfuckers", "motherfucking", . . . and, well, you get the picture. It was almost as if "motherfucker" was the only word he knew and he was bound and determined to make the most of it -- as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, an imperative, and, of course, as an interjection! Yeah, good ol' Droopy Drawers, he's cheesin' it as he's sleazin' it -- he's a real kool kitty, a regular "copro-cat".
by Dinkum July 29, 2013
The brand name of a type of household drain cleaner.

' But now Midland City looked unfamiliar and frightening to Dwayne. "Where am I?" he said.

' He even forgot that his wife Celia had committed suicide, for instance, by eating Drano --- a mixture of sodium hydroxide and aluminum flakes, which was meant to clear drains. Celia became a small volcano, since she was composed of the same sorts of substances which commonly clogged drains. '

--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 6 (Page 65).
by Dinkum February 15, 2014

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