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Digitalnonsense's definitions

big spoon baby balloon

Part of the outrageous radio show - The Chris Morris Radio Show on Radio 1 (UK) - where, in one show, satirist Chris Morris (see The Day Today, Brasseye, Blue Jam) persuades his radio sidekick to borrow (steal) a baby from London's Oxford Street and take it back to the studio. It is then tied to two large helium ballons and tea strainers placed over its eyes in an attempt to make it look like The Fly. A game then ensues where the, now floating, baby is batted over the mixing desk with large spoons. The game is known as Big Spoon Baby Balloon and is soon to be an Olympic event.
Dude: I'm bored babysitting...lets play a game!
Patrick Bateman: Ok. But what will we play? Mind if I stick on my Huey Lewis CD by the way?
Dude: Yeah..go for it. Gimmie those balloons over...lets make this wee fucker fly! I'll teach him to shit on my couch!
Patrick Bateman: Cool... Big spoon baby balloon!! 1 nil!
Dude: What's with the axe....?
by Digitalnonsense November 9, 2006
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Total Station

A surveying instrument that is a combined theodolite and distomat resulting in a single unit cabable of measuring both distance and angle.
Boss: Hey, use that total station and set out the kerbline for the new road.
Surveyor: No. I prefer using it to spy on the girls changing room.
Boss: Let me see!!
by Digitalnonsense November 11, 2006
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American Psycho

A controversial 1991 novel written by American author Bret Easton Ellis.
Set in the boom and bust 1980's, the book centres around 26 year old Wall Street businessman Patrick Bateman and his dark psychotic journey of mental unstability as he tries to solve the conflict between his need to fit in and his battle against anonymity.

The novel features some exceptionally graphic violence, often of a sexual nature, and leaves the reader unsure of whether the violence is only in Bateman's head or is in fact happening.

An excellent book and movie but one that should maybe be avoided on first dates....unless you want your date to know you plan to smash their head in with a well polished axe.

The book was made into a Holywood film in 2000 and starred Christian Bale.
Quotes:

"Then, turning her over again, her body weak with fear, I cut all the flesh off around her mouth and using the power drill with a detachable, massive head I widen that hole while she shakes, protesting, and once I'm satisfied with the size of the hole I've created, her mouth open as wide as possible, a reddish black tunnel of twisted tongue and loosened teeth, I force my hand down, deep in her throat, until it dissappears up to my wrist"

American Psycho makes for excellent childrens bed time reading!
by Digitalnonsense November 11, 2006
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Digitalnonsense

1) In binary, the number 2 would be classed as digitalnonsense.

2) Digitalnonsense is the crap you tell people online via chatrooms, blogs, My Space etc, that spawns various characters of your personality that you want people to see. These personalities will all have some small grain of the person writing them, but will almost always be lies.

Sexy_69 from Texas will NOT be the buxom stunner you think she is, but will be a "lifer" in some Redneck run prison that has internet access.

Porsche_88 will NOT be a playboy millionaire that drives a Porsche and is looking to whisk you away to some sunny island. If he was...why would he waste his time online in a sodding chat room?!

And as for 12_inch_dong....well, prepared to be disappointed as you find out its a sexual frustrated IT assistant with no interpersonal skills so stalks females in chatrooms and web meeting sites. He is the one that always has to cancel a meeting with you due to some international business trip..yeah right...

3) A prophet with an opinion.
Blog entry "yesterday"

Hi, well yesterday was amazing. Not only did I go to the Pussy Cat Dolls concert but I went back to their hotel and butt-fucked them all night long. The next morning I walked home and saw a unicorn in the woods...

Or...

12_inch_dong: Hey, wussup?
Sexy_69: Hey there BIG boy. You wanna party?
12_inch_dong: Hell yeah. So, just how sexy are you, babe?
Sexy_69: Well, to be honest, I'm in jail for killing my parents and am awaiting the death penalty and have to endure being bummed every other day by the other inmates. Its not that sexy. So...do you have a 12 inch dong?
12_inch_dong: Uhm, no. I look at a lot of online porn though...

The above are prime examples of digitalnonsense. You can be whoever you wanna be online....just remember that.
by Digitalnonsense November 20, 2006
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No Limits

The pinnacle song from bizarre early 90's techno-pop outfit 2 Unlimited featuring a truely awful chorus of "No no, no no no no, no no no no, no there's no limits".
The act was made up of Dutch rapper Ray Slijngaard and fit singer Anita Doth.

The irony was thay were very limited...but Anita would get it!
Ray: Hey Anita, I need another word for this chorus...its just not flowing well.
Anita: No.
Ray: Brilliant! Is there no limits to your talent?
Anita: No. Well, actually, yes.
by Digitalnonsense November 12, 2006
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Spin wank

The act of male masturbation known as wanking, but with a crowd pleasing climax. The wankee takes centre stage in a circle of wankers and tugs hard on his genitals until they near climax. At this point the wankee then starts to spin creating a spunk loaded version of russian roulette as their sticky load will soon be spurting on a random circle wanker. This recipient of the man-cream soaking then has to take their place in the centre of the circle.
This takes place until at least one person collapses due to fatigue or the police are called.
There are no winners. Just wankers.
Mother: Frank, why is your t-shirt all stained?
Frank: Coz I was with the guys spin wanking all day!
Mother: What's a spin wank?
Frank: (Starts tugging and spinning) Ahhhh take that you hot bitch!
by Digitalnonsense November 10, 2006
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Jeremy Beadle

1) A TV host that annoyed the public with various "comedy" set ups and who also made a small fortune from showing clips of people falling over and hurting themselves. He has a small hand - a deformation from God to remind us all that we shouldn't profit from others misfortune.

2) When you have been dealt a Jeremy Beadle in a card game you have been dealt a bad hand. See above.
A traumatised wannabe terrorist has been told to prove his faith by shooting his grandmother in the face and is now standing over the body with a smoking gun in his hand...

Jeremy Beadle jumps out from a bin, dressed as a terrorist:
"Ha ha..Got you..it was a fake gun there Tommy, it was a set up"
Tommy: "Shit, I used my own gun. I killed my grandmother for nothing..."
Jeremy Beadle: "My hand hurts.."
by Digitalnonsense November 12, 2006
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