Delete this account now's definitions

TeamTrees

English is my fourth language and I'm writing this on my phone with a throwaway account using only my toes while reading Kierkegaard so please forgive me for any grammar mistakes. :)

So, a little backstory. I'm a 24-year-old female, 5'10, white (thank God), skinny with DD breasts and an ass that barely fits in skinny jeans. People often say that I'm the most stunningly gorgeous person they've ever met and I should consider modeling but I dunno lol. I'm childfree, an atheist, a meat lover, and strictly heterosexual.

So I was at the hardware store picking out a chandelier to put in the house I'm building for the homeless when this fat, smelly, repulsive, gay, transgender "woman" walks up to me and shrieks, "you're oppressing me by being thin! Eat a fucking vegan burger you skinny slut!" I hit her with the "okay boomer," and she responded, "that's literally as offensive as calling me a n*gger!" Then she threw her slimy crotch goblin at me and screamed, "get her, Jayden! Infect her with your polio that you got because I refuse to vaccinate you!" I didn't wanna be a Karen and call the manager over to settle this so I took it upon myself to personally vaccinate her child right on the spot and saved his life. The "woman" then tried to convert me to Christianity so I kicked her in the balls and dragged her out of the store. Everyone clapped, the manager gave me $1,000 (which I donated to TeamTrees), and Obama reached out to thank me for my bravery.

Tank top gay face teamtrees

by Delete this account now September 19, 2023

I’m so scared

The thing you say when your best female (or male if you’re female) friend is singing the chorus of “Lovefool” by the Cardigans and dancing with a stick that has a wig that looks like her/his crush’s hair on it, and you’re scared and jealous of this man/woman.

Person 1: Love me, love me, Say that you love me~
Person 2: I’m so scared

by Delete this account now July 3, 2023

Piss colored hair

Ok Reddit, so I (237,624 M) and my wife (6 F) got into a bit of an argument about Fortnite (released 2017 by Epic Games) on my (237,624 M) Xbox One X (released 2017). She (6F) wanted to play fortnite (released 2017 by Epic Games) on my (237,624 M) Xbox One X (released 2017) even though she (6 F) has a PS4 (released 2013), which I (237,624 M) destroyed. I (237,624 M) said no. She (6 F) hit me. So naturally, I grabbed my Unholy Hellbringer (crafted 200,000 years ago in Neptune’s core by demons), and killed her. I also killed our 32 of our boys, being Liam (2 M), Noah (2 M), Elijah (2 M), Logan (2 M), Mason (2 M), James (2 M), Aiden (2 M), Ethan (2 M), Lucas (2 M), Jacob (2 M), Michael (2 M), Matthew (2 M), Benjamin (2 M), Alexander (2 M), William (2 M), Daniel (2 M), Jayden (2 M), Oliver (2 M), Carter (2 M), Sebastian (2 M), Joseph (2 M), David (2 M), Gabriel (2 M), Julian (2 M), Jackson (2 M), Anthony (2 M), Dylan (2 M), Wyatt (2 M), Grayson (2 M), Isaiah (2 M), Christopher (2 M), and Joshua (2 M). I saved Henry (2 M), because he (2 M) was my favorite child. I thought that he could be raised by wolves while i (237,624 M) played Fortnite (released 2017 by Epic Games) inside my house. While outside, I (237,624 M) dropped him (2 M) on the pavement and he (2 M) died. So Reddit, AITA I the asshole for killing my whole family?

Person 1: read the definition
Person 2: piss colored hair

by Delete this account now September 19, 2023

Pseudogon

The best YouTube pooper ever

Person: what’s on YouTube
YouTube: YTP: frosty the humanoid popsicle gets divorced by Pseudogon
Person: yay

by Delete this account now June 21, 2023

greedy

bEiNg A gOoD tImE Lad
(WordGirl: Season 2 Episode 24: Lady Redundant Woman Gets The Blues)
This word defines an 8-10 year old with blue hair and a crown on his head who is being greedy and hits other people with lollies and speaks with a much better accent than Tobey

Person 1: I already made you a horsey! Now don’t be greedy!
Person 2: What’s greedy mean?
Person 2 does a dance.
Person 2: Being a good time lad?
Person 2 finishes dance.

by Delete this account now June 4, 2023

All the definitions on Urban Dictionary were written by people just like you. Now's your chance to add your own!

All the definitions on Urban Dictionary were written by people just like you. Now's your chance to add your own!

Please review Urban Dictionary's content guidelines before writing your definition. Here's the short version: Share definitions that other people will find meaningful and never post hate speech or people’s personal information.
Write for a large audience. Lots of people will read this, so give some background information.
Don't name your friends. We'll reject inside jokes and definitions naming non-celebrities.

All the definitions on Urban Dictionary were written by people just like you. Now's your chance to add your own! Please review Urban Dictionary's content guidelines before writing your definition. Here's the short version: Share definitions that other people will find meaningful and never post hate speech or people’s personal information. Write for a large audience. Lots of people will read this, so give some background information. Don't name your friends. We'll reject inside jokes and definitions naming non-celebrities. All the definitions on Urban Dictionary were written by people just like you. Now's your chance to add your own! Please review Urban Dictionary's content guidelines before writing your definition. Here's the short version: Share definitions that other people will find meaningful and never post hate speech or people’s personal information. Write for a large audience. Lots of people will read this, so give some background information. Don't name your friends. We'll reject inside jokes and definitions naming non-celebrities.
…Fuck you.

by Delete this account now September 19, 2023

You can X my Y

Literally X means a verb while Y means a noun. The sentence as a whole is supposed to be used as an innuendo.

Example 1:
Speddy: This is how you do an innuendo. Ask me if I want to play Pokémon.
Lesby: Do you want to play Pokémon X and Y?
Speddy: Of course, friend! …You can X my Y.
Lesby: Ew, wtf mans? I’m named my name for a reason, you creep!

Example 2:
Lonnie: Hey, do you wanna go to a rock concert?
Kaleb: Of course, bro! …You can rock my concert.
Lonnie: Ew, gross! What the fuck, bro???

by Delete this account now September 2, 2023