6 definitions by Count Christoph von Stoph-Stopherson
Due to uncontrollable forces, even an unsolicited/unwanted hand job from a beastly woman will eventually come to fruition. Despite any feelings of inhibition or revulsion, what begins as a fearful struggle...inevitably transforms in to a puzzling pleasure...which culminates in a primal scream. (This always happens right before you were about to call the police.)
"I was so drunk, but I could still tell she was ugly. After the forced hand job though, The Darkness took over."
"This scary chick tied me down and started giving me a forced hand job. I was terrified at first...but right when I reached for the phone to call the cops, I came."
"She is such a swamp donkey that all she can look forward to is giving a forced hand job to some guy she drags home after last call."
"This scary chick tied me down and started giving me a forced hand job. I was terrified at first...but right when I reached for the phone to call the cops, I came."
"She is such a swamp donkey that all she can look forward to is giving a forced hand job to some guy she drags home after last call."
by Count Christoph von Stoph-Stopherson May 5, 2008
Beer. The beverage of choice of all frat boys. Guess what-- it's not Coca-Cola in that keg, sister. Frat boys drink so much fraternity soda that they refer to actual soda as "non-fraternity soda".
Frat boy #1: Dude, my dad owns a dealership...
Frat boy #2: Yo, let's go drink some fraternity sodas.
Frat boy #3: Word, let's do this.
Frat boy #4: Let's go. When that pledge wakes up from the coma, tell him to sack up and drink more.
Pledge: <<heart stops beating>>
Frat boy #2: Yo, let's go drink some fraternity sodas.
Frat boy #3: Word, let's do this.
Frat boy #4: Let's go. When that pledge wakes up from the coma, tell him to sack up and drink more.
Pledge: <<heart stops beating>>
by Count Christoph von Stoph-Stopherson September 24, 2007
A female that claims to be a virgin, yet only 33% of her relevant orifices remain pure. How special can it feel to be the first through the front door when the entire football team has been through the back door and explored the chimney already?
"She says she's a virgin but she's totally a 33 percenter. Just ask her about when she blew Scronaldo under the bleachers, or when she let your boy ZK, Alpengeist, Booms, and Brandopolis put it in the back door!"
by Count Christoph von Stoph-Stopherson August 7, 2007
A benchslap is when a judge humiliates an attorney, insults another judge, or reverses a lower court in a particularly demeaning manner. A judicial bitch slap, if you will. This term was popularized by David Lat of AboveTheLaw.com (when he was blogging for UnderneathTheirRobes.com).
That was a classic Kozinski benchslap.
Judge Judy totally benchslapped that hooker that claimed to be a model, did you see that?
She might be a litigatrix, but that didn't help her dodge that brutal benchslap.
Judge Judy totally benchslapped that hooker that claimed to be a model, did you see that?
She might be a litigatrix, but that didn't help her dodge that brutal benchslap.
by Count Christoph von Stoph-Stopherson October 18, 2007
A feisty and dominant female litigator, preferably hot. This portmanteau of litigator and dominatrix was coined by David Lat of AboveTheLaw.com.
M. Julius Worthington, III: Have you met opposing counsel?
Niles Frankfurter Kensington: Mmmmrrrrrowwwrrr! What a litigatrix!
Niles Frankfurter Kensington: Mmmmrrrrrowwwrrr! What a litigatrix!
by Count Christoph von Stoph-Stopherson October 18, 2007
First popularized by Kojak, the 1970s TV character, this expression is now a signature line of Christoph's. The correct answer ("You do!") is implied; thus no response is necessary. The expression can be used in a variety of situations. A few common usages include: a response to a complement, a greeting, an affirmation, an expression of excitement. Be careful if you say it to your girlfriend/mistress because she might get the wrong idea.
Girl: Damn, that is a nice jacket. You look hot in it.
Christoph: Who loves ya baby!
Girl: Wow, you have an amazing six pack.
Christoph: Who loves ya baby!
Girl: You always leave me smiling and satisfied.
Christoph: Who loves ya baby!
Guy: Ready to drink some fraternity sodas tonight?
Christoph: Who loves ya baby!
Christoph: Who loves ya baby!
Girl: Wow, you have an amazing six pack.
Christoph: Who loves ya baby!
Girl: You always leave me smiling and satisfied.
Christoph: Who loves ya baby!
Guy: Ready to drink some fraternity sodas tonight?
Christoph: Who loves ya baby!
by Count Christoph von Stoph-Stopherson September 24, 2007