When you are deemed officially gay and given a certificate signed by an elite and secret force of individuals, who's true identity shall never be revealed.
You better hope you don't get a certification of gayness because... well, that's gay.
Andrew: Hey, what's this in the mail?
Narrator: Andrew is a very sad, gay person.
Andrew: What the... Certification of Gayness?!
Narrator: Andrew has just been enlightened, as the truth dawns upon him, leading him towards the bright light at the end of the tunnel...