Chris Ord's definitions

log effect tile

Waterproof smear left by an untidy toilet user(usually on a virgin train)which starts below the rim and inexplicably continues and survives intact beneath the waterline.

Some ones fitted a log effect tile in that public conveience

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

wrist manual

A gentlemens interest magazine containing pictures of "Ladies who never say no" also features on classic cars and premium rate phone lines.

whilst walking the dog , I discovered a fantastic stash of dicarded wrist manuals , who says flytipping is all bad.

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

teddy bears arm

A large lump of excrement,possibly left in the pot overnight,giving it a furry appearence around the edges

i went to perform my morning ablutions and imagine my surprise when i discovered someone had left ateddy bears arm in my toilet.

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

crackers

Pants,Underpants North East colloquial.

Im touching cloth,Ive shit me crackers

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

swamp sock

A stray sock often found beneath the bed of a teenage boy with a strangely stiffened texture used primarily as a recepticle for masturbatory ejaculate . Use has possibly increased due to current concerns for the environment as the item is reusable unlike tissues .

Mum - Johnny , I must try another brand of fabric condition as I had to boil wash the sock i found under your bed as it was so stiff !

Johnny - ...Erm...gumph!...swamp sock

by chris ord June 27, 2010