Chris Ord's definitions

wrist manual

A gentlemens interest magazine containing pictures of "Ladies who never say no" also features on classic cars and premium rate phone lines.

whilst walking the dog , I discovered a fantastic stash of dicarded wrist manuals , who says flytipping is all bad.

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

knocking shop mattress

An effect of male pattern baldness,whereby the unfortunate male decides not to do the decent thing ie get the clippers out and grows the floundering folicles hoping to conceal the onset of nature by creative combing,suceeding only in an elaborate , threadbare shaping with a shiney(often sunburnt)beacon of scalp shining through for all to see.Resembling the aformentioned sex workers overused mattress.See Robin Gibb,Footballer Kenny Cunningham etc

See that Alan Shearer on Match of the Day,he's got a head like a knocking shop mattress,though his muscular pressence up front,will be sorely missed by Newcastle this season.

by chris ord August 31, 2006

lay some cable

To produce solid waste,often used to amuse workmates,or as an excuse when you are going for a number 3.

Out the way lads,Im going to strech my hoop and lay some cable

by chris ord August 31, 2006

stotts

Testicles,nuts,colloquial North East

Come here and Ill kick you in the Stotts

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

binjacking

The art of disposing of your refuse in a bin belonging to another individual

Did you put that bag of dog poop I collected off the lawn in the bin ?

No , I binjacked next doors bin to hide our shame

Oh no , binjacking again

by Chris ord March 12, 2015