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Charitable Disguise's definitions

Squid In A Ditch

A profound and controversial characterization of the female genitalia, where "Ditch" represents the angular, contoured bordering meat of the labia, and "Squid" depicts the amorphous, unidentifiable, moistened nonsense in between. Sometimes used as the final closing/mic drop term in adolescent "funny names for genitalia" competitions.
Dude, she pulled up her skirt and it totally looked like a frickin "Squid in a Ditch!"
by Charitable Disguise October 12, 2019
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Polarity Oscillation Orbit

The hyper-accelerating movement of Earth's magnetic north pole due to the increased presence of densely concentrated methane in the atmosphere.

{Since the early 1800's, scientists have tracked the ongoing movement of the magnetic north pole. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit (P.O.O.) was coincidentally discovered by a globally recognized audio engineer, Sir Laramie Todd and his visionary studio lab research colleague, Duke Robert Rite of Dungville. In the early 1990s, Sir Laramie recorded a new orbital sound waveform stemming from low frequency feedback captured in a Duke Rite bass guitar track. Sir Laramie took the clip from the Duke, triangulated the distinct properties related to the frequency, velocity and peaks of the Duke's clip and recognized that feedback patterns were spontaneously and abruptly profound during the Duke's output, specifically after ingesting a Filibertos burrito and flagilating convulsively in the direction of the speaker. Through his unique study, Sir Laramie proved the effects of methane gas on microphone magnetic fields. The Duke hypothesized that too much methane, when interacting with iron, causes polar instability on a grand scale. Thus, P.O.O. was born with the rationale that human overpopulation and the extensive quantity of excrement, causes the north pole to oscillate in a predictable pattern, with velocity and speed influenced by the proportionate concentration of methane in the atmosphere.
1. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit is expected to extend into Siberia by 2040.
2. Humans are creating P.O.O. because of their poo.
3. Dude, lets dial in the bottom end of the bass recording today. Go get some Filibertos and prep yourself.
by Charitable Disguise December 23, 2019
mugGet the Polarity Oscillation Orbitmug.

Ballistic Prose

Words and phrases specifically manufactured/defined in order to mislead careless, irresponsible and deceptive journalists/writers.

{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
1. 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform S.A.W.' is an example of a ballistic prose characterization for a ridiculously large wave. There is no such thing as a S.A.W.

2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"

3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
by Charitable Disguise January 3, 2020
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Stiff Element

A long lasting, iron hardened (stiff) penile erection (element), fortuitously triggered from aural/audio stimuli.

{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
1. Chuck has been using his Stiff Element to exhibit superior carnal endurance, while at the same time wielding it as a weaponized instrument of aural dominance.

2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
by Charitable Disguise February 2, 2020
mugGet the Stiff Elementmug.

Quantum Nimbus

An uncommon, aberrant atmospheric condition wherein multiple opposing jet streams violently converge to form colossal, hydronautic vapor columns as a result of haphazardly fluctuating climatic temperatures, intense friction and a microcosmic, atomization of subterfuged kinetic energy. In especially unique and volatile environmental circumstances, extreme barometric density builds and induces a tourbillion-like vacuuming effect, whereby coagulating particles accumulate into a voluminous mass, temporarily opening a 'quantum' realm where cosmic physical properties emanate translucent, paralytic neuromuscular macro-waves.
1 {Curious Observer A} - "Dude, look at that incredible cloud formation over the Superstition mountains!" {Curious Observer B} - "Dude, thats a freaking 'Quantum Nimbus!'"

2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
by Charitable Disguise December 5, 2019
mugGet the Quantum Nimbusmug.

Ethnicitized

Derived from the words Ethnicity + Hypnotized, Ethnicitized is the intentional act of modifying, transforming & dispositioning ones identity from self, into a psychomorphic, hyperdouched state of being wherein the individual choreographs & elicits social/behavioral patterns, designed to personify the mannerisms, dialect & slang of a target ethic group, to gain acceptance, favor, goods, services &/or alliance oriented popularity for reasons of political advancement.

Over time, the repetitious execution of such tactics results in an amnesiac cerebal impressioning of temporal permanence, accompanied by a spontaneous, involuntary, visceral, schizophrenic, socially triggered personality change, unbeknownst to the individual, but completely obvious to others.

Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen returned to the Coyote Lakes psychiatric hospital to inform Dr. Kevin Michael Damone and Pro-Fessor Campbell about his findings on the Baptits Foundation & the unethical microcosm of Flakycock councilmen who posed as religious figureheads, fronting theological prowess so as to steal pensions from Ernie, Menden & 300+ victims. Culvitude viewed 20yrs of data, overlaying R score models on data sets, receiving a confidence trigger during a presidential candidate interview in 2020, when the incumbent (Anglo Saxon) performed his unique, Corn Pop gangsta style talk with well educated/astute African American interviewers. Thus, the condition - 'Ethnicitized' was born. DSM-5 code: j0E-bIdN-cM0n:mAn
{Friends discussing politics} "Dude, I am watching an interview with this 77 year old white guy running for president, and he keeps using this weird slang, and this odd tone of voice, as if he is trying to sound like he is from some tribe. {Friend Responds} "Yeah, that guy is totally 'Ethnicitized', trying to pretend that he is African American to an African American audience. Its quite comical. Oh, also, did you know that he knuckle-dunked his fingers into an intern's vagina too, because, well, "he thought she liked him."
by Charitable Disguise May 24, 2020
mugGet the Ethnicitizedmug.

Days

A gentelmenly, over enthusiastic vocalized expression of supreme delight, exhilaration and triumph when greeting and welcoming a close friend or loved one. Adapted from post cold war pop culture references to blissful, timeless rhythmic engagement in Easter European Dance Halls, the term "Days" personifies the intensity and joy of the moment in the presence of partners (i.e.friends or loved ones). Sometimes spoken with an indistinguishable European accent. In cases of suprise greetings, 'Days' is used in conjunction with the word 'Hey', as in "Hey Days!"
{Friend enters room} "Days!"
{Friend enters room, surprising and overwhelming you with joy} "Hey Days!!!"
by Charitable Disguise October 13, 2019
mugGet the Daysmug.

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