4 definitions by CaptainQuadmay
"Discharge to Jesus." A comedic way of referring to a dead patient who no amount of CPR and Defibrillation is going to bring back.
by CaptainQuadmay March 5, 2019
"Ain't Lifting Shit." A derogatory (and usually self-referential) term used to describe advanced Paramedics, who perform mostly Advanced Life Support (A.L.S) duties, as opposed to the dreaded and unfortunately ubiquitous lift-assists that EMT basics find themselves inundated with.
"Hey, Medic 71, can we get you for a lift assist at this Nursing Home in South Bumblefuck?"
"Nah man, I'm ALS, page 72 for that shit."
"Copy that. TYFYS, Paragod."
"Nah man, I'm ALS, page 72 for that shit."
"Copy that. TYFYS, Paragod."
by CaptainQuadmay March 5, 2019
In EMS, a bag-bitch refers to an incompetent newbie, usually a cadet or fresh EMT, who is stuck carrying the basic-life-support bag while the senior EMT or Paramedic on scene performs patient treatment. Such a person may also serve as a walking-coat hanger for other kinds of bags and miscellaneous tools on a scene involving many medics, and may be upgraded to an errand-boy (one who does basic tasks and fetches medications from the dozens of bags and compartments) once they demonstrate some level of competence.
"Hey Miles, does that new guy have any potential, or is he just a Bag Bitch?"
"Oh, he's a Bag Bitch alright. Total FNG."
"Oh, he's a Bag Bitch alright. Total FNG."
by CaptainQuadmay March 5, 2019
In EMS, the Disco Patch refers to the usually tacky, yet highly sought-after golden patch that Paramedics get to wear as a result of completing their two-year training program. It is named as such due to its garish, sparkly colors and bright red lettering. Known for corrupting the hearts and souls of formerly kind EMTs, slowly converting them into a dreaded Paragod, just as the One Ring converted its slaves to Nazgul.
I've been a paramedic for six years, but I still get a little bit hard whenever I put on my uniform with the Disco Patch.
by CaptainQuadmay March 5, 2019