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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

child molester

A wishy-washy, namby-pamby white liberal euphemism for a person who rapes or has sexual intercourse with a child. Using the less offensive liberal expression removes much of the horror of the act, and lets liberals plead for mercy and gentle treatment of the malefactor.
A child molester should be called a child raper. A mosquito molests people. A child molester rapes and sodomizes little kids. These foul scums should be hanged, not coddled.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
mugGet the child molestermug.

time out

A bogus, phoney baloney pseudo-punishment inflicted by soccer moms on their day care brats, after said day care brats have disobeyed for the 27th time.

The time out has a beginning, but never an end. Before the soccer mom releases the day care brat, the day care brat releases itself.
After little Chutney disobeyed her soccer mom for the 27th time, Michner gave her a time out.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
mugGet the time outmug.

Tobasco

A mild, tame, weak-flavored sauce used to add piquancy to food.
A tablespoon of Tobasco sauce will add some life to bacon, sausage, and potatoes.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005
mugGet the Tobascomug.

saturday night special

A liberal expression meaning an inexpensive handgun. (Of course, the REAL definition of an inexpensive handgun is CHEAP INSURANCE.)

Liberal politicians tell yuppie and soccer mom constituents that they will ban Saturday Night Specials, which makes the yuppies and soccer moms feel all warm and fuzzy.

Of course, banning inexpensive handguns deprives poor people of their most effective defense against Pachuco boys and other criminals.
Senaturd Kennedy wants to ban the Saturday Night Special.
by Cap'n Bullmoose January 26, 2007
mugGet the saturday night specialmug.

PETA

1. A group of hippocrites who will never hesitate to pour paint on a rich lady's fur coat, but will never in a million years pour paint on a biker's leather jacket.

2. A group of mush wimp clowns who, living in the traditions, safety, and blessings of a Christian nation, subscribes to Hindu reincarnation nonsense about cows being ex-humans.
Listen up, PETA punk: Meat is NOT murder, and that cow is NOT my grandma. Pour paint on MY leathers and I'll ram a wiener dog up yer backside!
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
mugGet the PETAmug.

john kerry

A limousine liberal pollutocrat who wanted to tax YOUR pants off to pay for socialist medicine and free abortions for all soccer moms.

A liberal twit who shoots geese to show he's really a good ol boy at heart. He wants to take away YOUR gun, but not the crips' guns.

A pantywaist who wants all prancing poofters to get married. Then maybe all the little doggies and kitties can get married too. And the horsey set people can marry their horses.
John Kerry is a mush wimp liberal who wants YOUR wallet.
by Cap'n Bullmoose August 18, 2006
mugGet the john kerrymug.

sideshow

Lawless exhibition of speed practiced by Oakland coons.
I be goin to de sideshow.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
mugGet the sideshowmug.

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