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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

salt water Mexican

A person from the Phillipine Islands. A Flip.
Florencio is one cool salt water Mexican. He doesn't giggle like a monkey.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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bozo

An incompetent computer programmer.

An incompetent boss in a tech shop.
Trent is such a bozo!
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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automatic

A type of automobile transmission used by old granny ladies, girlie girls, girlie men, and sissy boys.

You can spot cars with automatic transmissions as you drive on any road. The drivers step on the brakes for random cosmic events. If they see a fuzz, they step on the brakes. If they see a car pull up to a side street, they step on the brakes. If they come to an intersection, they step on the brakes. If they see a crow, they step on the brakes.

The repeated brake lights warn all stick shift drivers that a totally incompetent "driver" is operating the car.
No man with any self respect would ever drive a car with an automatic transmission.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005
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PDA

A hand-held electronic device used by yuppie twits to draw attention and admiration to themselves at meetings. Although the device does little more than a notebook and pen, yuppies and soccer moms are very impressed by them.
Scrodney was the center of attention with her new PDA. All the yuppies were very excited about it, and Scrodney scored many points.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 14, 2006
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dangle dance

An impromptu dance performed by a gentleman with no pants on.
Mike dropped trou and did a dangle dance in front of the beauty salon.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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loitering

What punks, creeps, Ace Boon Coons, and Pachuco boys can be found doing outside pool halls, liquor stores, and 7-Eleven stores. Loitering involves standing somewhat still, posing like a tough guy, spitting on the sidewalk, and (if you're an Ace Boon Coon) occasionally shouting "Sheee-IT!" or "MO FO!"

Proprietors of businesses post signs that say "NO LOITERING." These signs can be found at better pool halls, liquor stores, and 7-Elevens in all major cities. They do this because if anything is bad for business, it's a slime ball punk or nose-picking creep or a greasy haired Pachuco or a shit-ass Blood or fat slob Crip standing outside your establishment.
Hector collects lucrative entitlements from the liberals because one of his ancestors was a conquistador. With no work to go to, he spends his afternoons loitering outside Mack's Liquor Store.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 11, 2007
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Junior Psychologist

A liberal twit who always knows the deep psychological reasons behind other peoples' beliefs and behaviors. Junior Psychologists come out of their holes to make their pronouncements in college dormatories, in letters to the editor, and in discussions. Like all liberal twits, Junior Psychologists know what is best for you and me, and never miss an opportunity to tell us so.
Fenton is a Junior Psychologist. She knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who drive four-wheel-drive vehicles do so because they subconsciously worry that their penises are not large enough. They buy four-wheel-drives to display as a large penis substitute. She can't conceive of a man -- or woman -- who wants a four-wheel-drive vehicle to explore the wondrous outback of America.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who do not vote for Quean Hillary do so because they are misogynist, sexist pigs and would feel emasculated if a woman was their leader. She can't imagine that their are 72 million women better-qualified to be President than Quean Hillary, and that most men would vote for one of them.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who own guns do so because they subconsciously fear that their penises are not long enough. They buy guns to substitute for a short penis. She can't imagine that men -- and also women -- own guns to hunt, and to shoot targets, beer cans, greasy-haired Pachuco Boys, and wimpy-ass liberals who want to take their rights away.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who are not limp-wristed liberal mush wimps are not because they "have issues" (as she likes to say) with having their bottoms wiped the wrong way when they were infants. She can't imagine that some people do not like paying taxes for sissy liberal social programs, socialist medicine, towing the politically correct party line, or being forced to tolerate the putrid behavior of A-Rabs, panhandlers, and mincing poofters.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that men who do not like poofters are subconsciously afraid of their own hidden homosexual feelings. She can't imagine that any people are real men who are attracted to women and who find mincing, prancing, doing dangle dances, playing circle jerk, corn holing, and squealing "weeee" to be insipid, disgusting, perverted, and nasty.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that men who do not like Greasy Haired Pachucos challenging them when they walk down the sidewalk have unresolved authority issues and harbor deep-seated racial hatred for people with dark hair and brown eyes. She can't conceive of a man who will defend his right to walk in public without being challenged by a greasy punk.

Fenton, as you can see, knows absolutely nothing. She is nothing but an arrogant, whining, snot-nosed liberal soccer mom who doesn't know Jack Shit.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 28, 2008
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