Skip to main content

Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

Texas t-shirt

An ass gasket. A paper toilet seat cover commonly found in public restrooms.

This expression has been common since at least the 1950s, and cold be older.
Mrs. Murphy put a Texas t-shirt onto the toilet seat in Hannigan's Bar.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
mugGet the Texas t-shirtmug.

wigger

An incredibly stupid white kid who needs his ass whooped. His parents need to whoop his ass, and you may do it too.
Look at that idiotic wigger. Let's go whoop his ass.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
mugGet the wiggermug.

trots

Loose bowels. The drizzy shits.
Braughton got the trots at her office this morning and didn't make it to the can.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
mugGet the trotsmug.

homeless

A bum.
A wino.
A liberal word, used by effeminate liberals instead of the word "bum."
All good effeminate liberals call bums homeless. By doing this, they can can whine, "Oh, let's all help the homeless," just like the people of San Francisco. They said let's build homes and put all the homeless people inside them. Then nobody will be homeless. Ooh, aren't we good liberals? Barack O'Bama will love us!
So the liberals built homes. Then they went out on the streets and collected all the bums and put them in the homes. See, no more homeless!
Now, the San Francisco coppers have discovered that all those people on the streets who piss on the sidewalk and shit in the gutter and throw muscatel bottles on your front porch have addresses. They aren't homeless.
See, aren't those San Francisco liberals nice? They've spent over 100 million taxpayer dollars, but there are no more homeless people in San Francisco!
Just bums.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 16, 2008
mugGet the homelessmug.

child molester

A wishy-washy, namby-pamby white liberal euphemism for a person who rapes or has sexual intercourse with a child. Using the less offensive liberal expression removes much of the horror of the act, and lets liberals plead for mercy and gentle treatment of the malefactor.
A child molester should be called a child raper. A mosquito molests people. A child molester rapes and sodomizes little kids. These foul scums should be hanged, not coddled.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
mugGet the child molestermug.

dooflap

A large, pendulous fur-covered appendage that hangs beneath the neck of a moose.
Bullregard the Moose has an 18-inch dooflap.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007
mugGet the dooflapmug.

Junior Psychologist

A liberal twit who always knows the deep psychological reasons behind other peoples' beliefs and behaviors. Junior Psychologists come out of their holes to make their pronouncements in college dormatories, in letters to the editor, and in discussions. Like all liberal twits, Junior Psychologists know what is best for you and me, and never miss an opportunity to tell us so.
Fenton is a Junior Psychologist. She knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who drive four-wheel-drive vehicles do so because they subconsciously worry that their penises are not large enough. They buy four-wheel-drives to display as a large penis substitute. She can't conceive of a man -- or woman -- who wants a four-wheel-drive vehicle to explore the wondrous outback of America.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who do not vote for Quean Hillary do so because they are misogynist, sexist pigs and would feel emasculated if a woman was their leader. She can't imagine that their are 72 million women better-qualified to be President than Quean Hillary, and that most men would vote for one of them.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who own guns do so because they subconsciously fear that their penises are not long enough. They buy guns to substitute for a short penis. She can't imagine that men -- and also women -- own guns to hunt, and to shoot targets, beer cans, greasy-haired Pachuco Boys, and wimpy-ass liberals who want to take their rights away.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who are not limp-wristed liberal mush wimps are not because they "have issues" (as she likes to say) with having their bottoms wiped the wrong way when they were infants. She can't imagine that some people do not like paying taxes for sissy liberal social programs, socialist medicine, towing the politically correct party line, or being forced to tolerate the putrid behavior of A-Rabs, panhandlers, and mincing poofters.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that men who do not like poofters are subconsciously afraid of their own hidden homosexual feelings. She can't imagine that any people are real men who are attracted to women and who find mincing, prancing, doing dangle dances, playing circle jerk, corn holing, and squealing "weeee" to be insipid, disgusting, perverted, and nasty.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that men who do not like Greasy Haired Pachucos challenging them when they walk down the sidewalk have unresolved authority issues and harbor deep-seated racial hatred for people with dark hair and brown eyes. She can't conceive of a man who will defend his right to walk in public without being challenged by a greasy punk.

Fenton, as you can see, knows absolutely nothing. She is nothing but an arrogant, whining, snot-nosed liberal soccer mom who doesn't know Jack Shit.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 28, 2008
mugGet the Junior Psychologistmug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email