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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

slop swab

A napkin or serviette, used to wipe crumbs and gravy from your mouth at dinner.
Otto wiped his chops with a slob swab.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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trots

Loose bowels. The drizzy shits.
Braughton got the trots at her office this morning and didn't make it to the can.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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wigger

An incredibly stupid white kid who needs his ass whooped. His parents need to whoop his ass, and you may do it too.
Look at that idiotic wigger. Let's go whoop his ass.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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spade cat

An African American man.

This word was common among jazz musicians in the 1940s and 1950s, but fell out of favor in recent times because of politically correct bull. This was never a racial slur, although politically correct twits think it is today.
The spade cat lay down a great riff during his sax solo.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005
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ash tray breath

The typical breath stench of the redneck, fool, and skank. Caused by smoking a cigarette.
Karen has ash tray breath. It smells like the dung of a thousand camels.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005
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float

A large vehicle, usually propelled by an engine, used as a moving stage or mobile display in a parade.

In the Rose Parade, floats are ridden by men and women in costumes to celebrate New Years Day.

In every Poofters on Parade parade, a float is ridden (certainly not "manned") by poofters, fags, butt eaters, and corn holers wearing jock straps. They mince, prance, and blow kisses to the crowd. This is all very impressive to white liberals, who always show up to wave at the sissies.
The Dykes on Bikes lead the annual Poofters on Parade parade. Behind the Dykes roll 64 floats covered with mincing pouves, fluttering faerie queans, and swaggering butches.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
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Junior Psychologist

A liberal twit who always knows the deep psychological reasons behind other peoples' beliefs and behaviors. Junior Psychologists come out of their holes to make their pronouncements in college dormatories, in letters to the editor, and in discussions. Like all liberal twits, Junior Psychologists know what is best for you and me, and never miss an opportunity to tell us so.
Fenton is a Junior Psychologist. She knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who drive four-wheel-drive vehicles do so because they subconsciously worry that their penises are not large enough. They buy four-wheel-drives to display as a large penis substitute. She can't conceive of a man -- or woman -- who wants a four-wheel-drive vehicle to explore the wondrous outback of America.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who do not vote for Quean Hillary do so because they are misogynist, sexist pigs and would feel emasculated if a woman was their leader. She can't imagine that their are 72 million women better-qualified to be President than Quean Hillary, and that most men would vote for one of them.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who own guns do so because they subconsciously fear that their penises are not long enough. They buy guns to substitute for a short penis. She can't imagine that men -- and also women -- own guns to hunt, and to shoot targets, beer cans, greasy-haired Pachuco Boys, and wimpy-ass liberals who want to take their rights away.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that all men who are not limp-wristed liberal mush wimps are not because they "have issues" (as she likes to say) with having their bottoms wiped the wrong way when they were infants. She can't imagine that some people do not like paying taxes for sissy liberal social programs, socialist medicine, towing the politically correct party line, or being forced to tolerate the putrid behavior of A-Rabs, panhandlers, and mincing poofters.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that men who do not like poofters are subconsciously afraid of their own hidden homosexual feelings. She can't imagine that any people are real men who are attracted to women and who find mincing, prancing, doing dangle dances, playing circle jerk, corn holing, and squealing "weeee" to be insipid, disgusting, perverted, and nasty.

Fenton knows -- she absolutely KNOWS! -- that men who do not like Greasy Haired Pachucos challenging them when they walk down the sidewalk have unresolved authority issues and harbor deep-seated racial hatred for people with dark hair and brown eyes. She can't conceive of a man who will defend his right to walk in public without being challenged by a greasy punk.

Fenton, as you can see, knows absolutely nothing. She is nothing but an arrogant, whining, snot-nosed liberal soccer mom who doesn't know Jack Shit.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 28, 2008
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