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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

homosexual

An extremely offensive word used to villify a poofter, a butt eating faggot, a turd burglar, a corn holer, or a swishy mama's boy.
A person is not born a homosexual. He is not born eating butt or corn holing the dog. A person chooses to become a homosexual. Behavior makes a person a homosexual. You do not become a homosexual by eating chocolate cake. You become a homosexual by eating butt.
Lemony is a homosexual. He enjoys fluttering his wrists, lisping, and going "tsk!" He decided to become a homosexual the day he decided to corn hole the dog.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 27, 2007
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The politically correct way of saying "Bum's Rush."
The Liberal Words for "Bum's Rush."
The forcible ejection from a saloon, performed on an objectionable person by a bouncer. It is done by grabbing the offender by the shirt collar and the belt, and pushing him out the door.
"I got the bum's rush from Finkbein's bar last night."
"Oh, you must never say 'bum's rush!' That will offend white liberals! Instead,you should say 'homeless person's manditory egression.'"
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 19, 2008
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road hog

A crummy soccer mom who hogs the left lane of any multi-lane road while she prattles on the cell phone.
Cassidy the arrogant soccer mom is this town's most egregious road hog. She will not move over into the right lane to let anyone pass.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
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arse bandit

A turd burglar. A corn holer. A poofter. A fag. A sissy boy. A swish.
Bruce is an arse bandit. He enjoys eating butt for desert.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007
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commode

Hey, Janet, don't forget to flush the commode.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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Woof!

Word used by countless ignorant peckerwoods to refer to a wolf.
Hot damn, Lem, they's a Woof down there in the holler.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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Schroedinger's Cat

A hypothetical experiment in quantum mechanics that allegedly proves that a cat can be alive and dead at the same time. This conclusion smack's of Bishop Berkeley's notion that if nobody is in a forest to hear a falling tree, the tree makes no sound.
Schroedinger's Cat is not half alive and half dead. It is either alive or dead, and we have to open the box to find out. If we lose interest and refuse to open the box, the chances of the cat being dead increase greatly with time.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
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