Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

beer

A beverage that can not be purchased, but only rented.

As Jimmy Jack headed for the can, he told his buddy, "Watch my beer, Ermal. I'm goin' to pay my rent."

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006

bumf

Office paper work. Derived from bumfodder, toilet paper.

Our new boss gives us a lot of bumf.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 21, 2005

suicide knob

A knob attached to the rim of a steering wheel that enables a driver to turn the wheel by moving the knob. Very common in the late 1940s and through the 1950s. Illegal in most places since then. Also called a nigger knob.

Ermal has a suicide knob on the steering wheel of his Case tractor. He decided to put one on the wheel of his Pontiac, too, so he could spoon with Ida Mae while he drives.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 22, 2007

marriage

A relationship between one man and one woman. The nucleus of the family. Ordained by God and not by governments, and therefore not definable or controllable by governments.

Little children sometimes play amusing little games in which their puppy dogs and kitty cats get married. In a similar fashion, grown-up poofters and diesel dykes sometimes pretend that they can get married to each other. Strangely, all good liberal twits pretend the same thing.

Every poofter has the God-given right to get married. He can marry any willing single woman he wants to.

Every bull dyke has the God-given right to get married. She can marry any willing single man she wants to.

Malcolm and Rebecca were united in marriage. Bruce and Donald were not.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

Porky Pig

To walk around in public with no pants on, like Porky Pig or Donald Duck.

A ball walk.

Herman and Larry did a Porky Pig down Main Street on Tuesday afternoon.

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005

columbus day

A holiday celebrated by Italians in all major US cities. In Denver, white liberals whine and fuss, claiming the celebration is racist and genocidal.

Very strangely, in San Francisco, the white liberals don't dare to interfere with the Italians.

Let's go march in the Columbus Day parade and offend a legion of white liberals!

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005

step on a frog

A polite excuse for blasting a fart.

Compare with step on a duck.

POOOOT! Oh, excuse me ladies, I just stepped on a frog.

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005