Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

marriage

A relationship between one man and one woman. The nucleus of the family. Ordained by God and not by governments, and therefore not definable or controllable by governments.

Little children sometimes play amusing little games in which their puppy dogs and kitty cats get married. In a similar fashion, grown-up poofters and diesel dykes sometimes pretend that they can get married to each other. Strangely, all good liberal twits pretend the same thing.

Every poofter has the God-given right to get married. He can marry any willing single woman he wants to.

Every bull dyke has the God-given right to get married. She can marry any willing single man she wants to.

Malcolm and Rebecca were united in marriage. Bruce and Donald were not.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

suicide knob

A knob attached to the rim of a steering wheel that enables a driver to turn the wheel by moving the knob. Very common in the late 1940s and through the 1950s. Illegal in most places since then. Also called a nigger knob.

Ermal has a suicide knob on the steering wheel of his Case tractor. He decided to put one on the wheel of his Pontiac, too, so he could spoon with Ida Mae while he drives.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 22, 2007

step on a frog

A polite excuse for blasting a fart.

Compare with step on a duck.

POOOOT! Oh, excuse me ladies, I just stepped on a frog.

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005

Porky Pig

To walk around in public with no pants on, like Porky Pig or Donald Duck.

A ball walk.

Herman and Larry did a Porky Pig down Main Street on Tuesday afternoon.

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005

colored guy

What polite people of all races called an African American man from 1930-1965. This was never considered a racial slur until the National Association for the Advancment of COLORED people said it was racist.

Louie is one great colored guy.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005

Congestion Fee

A Congestion Fee is yet another tax scheme devised by limp-wristed liberals to crush the working poor. The liberals charge a Congestion Fee to drive a car on a designated roadway during certain hours. The liberals say that charging this fee will get people to stop driving and take public transportation. Of course, rich people and dual-income Yuppies don't mind paying the fee, because they have money coming out their arse. But the working poor and single-income families will be crushed by the fees.

Many large cities are considering charging a Congestion Fee to drive on busy streets during rush hours. The limp-wristed liberal mush wimps want to charge these fees to force the working poor to take public transportation. And of course, public transportation in many cities is filled with hip hop idiots playing their ghetto blasters and threatening honest citizens with bodily harm.

Congestion Fees are just like another liberal desire: 5-dollar-a-gallon gasoline. Rich fat cats and dual-income Yuppies don't mind it, but it smashes the working poor.

by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007

cigarette

A roll of stink weed rolled in paper, found in the mouth of a redneck, skank, monkey, idiot, wino, bum, or fool. It is the cause of ash tray breath.

A Camel butt.

Belinda thinks she smells good with a cigarette in her mouth.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005