7 definitions by Callum6969

Shorts worn under your pants, used when you're a cronic masturbator and need to wank off in a semi-public area. You may be alone but there is still risk of someone walking in. You really want to rub ur dick so instead of pulling your pants down which is unexplainable to someone who walks in on you, you wank with you pants on. The fap shorts are used to soak up your sperm and to not stain your pants which would be embarrassing. This way of wanking is useful as if someone walks in, you have a slight chance of passing it off as just being a guy and scratching urself. Unlike if ur sitting there, pants around your ankles, your hand clenching ur throbbing erection, nothing to hide that you are in fact jerking your erection off.
The fap shorts are then removed when given the chance and disposed of, removing all evidence of your quick dispell of sperm.
#1 At a friend's house in an empty room

Geez I could jerk off right now, why does the toilet have to be so close to the living room where everyone is sitting and could easily hear me wanking :(.

Oh wait, im wearing fap shorts! Sweet!
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap ooohhhhhhh fuuuucccckkkkk yyyeeaaaa!

#2 Same place and situation

fap fap fap fap fap fap fap- Door opens

friend: Dude you in here? What ya doing?

You: My balls are fucking itching man, I think I caught something from that tramp last week!

fiend: Oh sucks to be you man!

You: Phhheeewwwwww
by Callum6969 May 14, 2009
When you wank your dick so hard that when you finally squirt your sperm everywhere your so tired that you decide to take a quick nap.

Make sure you clean yourself up before you take the nap or do it in a private area, otherwise someone may walk in and find you completely naked with a flaccid red dick and your stomach covered in sperm.
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP *exstatic moan of pleasure*

Nap Time
Awaken to your parent's voices:

Mum: I think our son had a wetdream
Dad: Naaahh look how raw his dick his, he probably had a wild wank and was so tired afterwards he fell asleep.
Mum: Ahhhhh a Fap'n'Nap
Dad: Thats right
by Callum6969 May 15, 2009
Being caught masturbating, usually refered to a teenage male. It is extreamly embarrassing for both parties, especially if you dont know they are there and do something that reveals your erection in full view. You dont really want your mum or sister seeing what your manhood looks like at its best.
One time i was masturbating in my room fully naked when my brother came in and I was caught in the act. He could not have walked in at a worse time as I was about to come. I quickly stood up to hide myself but i was past the point of return and sperm pumped into my palms as i hid my dick. It dripped through my fingers and the orgasm was so powerful i let out a few pathetic gasps. I still cannot look my brother in the eyes.
by Callum6969 May 15, 2009
Masturbation to the extreame. A male gets a throbbing erection and he is so horny that all he can do is jerk it off as hard and fast as he can to squirt his man juice out. Usually identified if you see a penis that is much much redder then the rest of the body. After a Wild Wank one finds that it takes a few days to be able to wank again, as your penis is sore and can only be used to pee.
I hadnt jerked off for 3 whole weeks while I was at my grandparent's house and had to share a room with grandpa. When I got home my dick had been hard for 5 whole days already and it took all my restraint to not wank off then and there at the dinner table with mum and dad. After dinner I ran to my room, locked the door and gave myself a wild wank. It only took 30 seconds to blow my man juice but I think I took 120 hard strokes in that time. My poor penis was sensitive for half a week. Had to wear boxers instead of briefs.
by Callum6969 May 15, 2009
When your masturbating and you reach the point of no return and suddenly stop and remove any contact with the penis. The penis ejaculates but it is only a quarter of the feeling a normal orgasm is.
My girlfriend gave me a ruined orgasm last night, i spat on her and threw her out of my car.
by Callum6969 May 12, 2009
An uncommon yet not unheard of crime. Male Rape is when a male has unwanted sex with a male or female. Unless the female is very strong, she drugs the man and while he is out plays with his penis until it is erect. If this fails, then viagra is dissolved into his mouth, and an erection will form within minutes. The female then has sex with him, usually because she wants a baby, but sometimes it is to feel a sense of control over the partner/friend/family member/stranger.

A man can also be raped by another man, which is much more common. The man is grabbed and held down while the other male inserts his erection into the anus, using it as a vagina-substitute. This is follwed by sex until he pumps his sperm into the anus and then pulls out. The raped male then has the unpleasant job of washing the sperm out of his ass.
Bob is a victim of male rape. 2 days ago his girlfriend, desperate for a baby, drugged him unconcious and fed him a viagra pill. She then raped him and is now hoping to be pregnant. Bob feels used and dirt, and is suing the bitch for all she's got.
by Callum6969 May 16, 2009
Being born with an organ that controls our lives from the age of 13 onwards. From this time the male is cursed forever with erections, wetdreams, urges for orgasms, and getting caught masturbating.

Once we feel that estatic feeling of the penis ejaculating, our lives change forever. From that time on we think about it approximatly every 8 seconds,achieving it ever 2 days,and getting it anyway through a wetdream if you refrain from it.

A huge gift and curse for men.
13 year old boy: Hey I wonder what this "jerking off" I've heard aboout feels like...

2 minutes later

OMG that was so good!! Well back to what I was gonna do- hmmm maybe one more time.

2 years later

fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap

GRRROOOAAANNNN

2 years later

Come on Mary, lets take our relationship to the next level.

Groan Groan Groan Groan Groan Groan Gasp Gasp Gasp yes Yes Yes YES AHHHHHH!!!!!

20 years later

I'm fucking sick of it Mary, we never have sex anymore since the kids were born I WANT A DIVORCE!

20 years later

Shit I have AIDS!!!! well thats the Male Curse for you.
by Callum6969 May 15, 2009

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