30 definitions by Bythorsbeard

Anyone who refuses to chew tobacco with Jessie Ventura.
"Bunch a slackjawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a goddamned Sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me."
--Jessie Ventura
by Bythorsbeard February 10, 2005
"Bunch a slackjawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a goddamned Sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me."
--Jessie Ventura
by Bythorsbeard February 10, 2005
A perfectly timed, short, witty remark. Used to put someone in their place, put someone down, make a humorous remark or observation, or to simply show the world how awesome you are.

The best One Liners make use of that wonderous language device the pun as well as sheer wit and good timing.

Commonly used by many great actors in action movies.
1) Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator after getting someone with a thrown knife which stuck the man to the wall:

"Stick around!"

2) Arnold (again) in Commando after dangling Sully (one of the villians) off of a cliff and then letting him drop:

"What Happened to Sully?"
"I let him go."

3) John Wayne in The War Wagon after he and his partner shoot two bad guys at once:

partner: "Mine hit the ground first!"
John Wayne: "Mine was taller."
by Bythorsbeard January 19, 2005
The best movie ever made... perhaps ever to be made.

"In a part of the world where there are no rules, deep in the jungle where nothing that lives is safe, an elite rescue squad is being led by the ultimate warrior. But now, they're up against the ultimate enemy. Nothing like it has ever been on earth before. It kills for pleasure, it hunts for sport. But this time, it picked the wrong man to hunt."

Rivaled closely only by the likes of movies such as No Hold Barred, Conan the Barbarian, and certain John Wayne movies.
Predator is to Action Movies as Manowar is to Heavy Metal.

guy 1: "Predator? Doesn't one the guys in that movie call some people a bunch of slackjawed faggots at one point?"
guy 2: "Yeah, he's a Governor now!"
by Bythorsbeard February 10, 2005
The great man who paved the way for action movies and was the inventor of the one liner.

Known to many as simply: "The Duke".

He starred in such great movies as The Alamo, The War Wagon, True Grit, and many, many more.
John Wayne could have worn high heels, a flowered dress, and makeup and still have been eight times the man you are.

"The other day, I ate four Baked Potatoes while watching a John Wayne movie. It was one of the manliest nights of my life."
by Bythorsbeard January 19, 2005
The Scale of Dinosaurs

The Scale of Dinosaurs is used in the quantification of one's greatness in terms of Dinosaurs. Therefore, one who is great can be said to 'have Dinosaurs' and conversely, one who is not great can be said to 'not have Dinosaurs'.

Of course, it is not as simple as 'Dinosaurs, period'. there is a scale involved, hence, 'The Scale of Dinosaurs'. First and foremost, more Dinosaurs is always a good thing. This, of course, does not mean that he who has the most Dinosaurs is the greatest. However, an increase of your rating on the Dinosaur Scale is always adventageous, regardless of the new addition's species.

Secondly, certain types of Dinosaurs are worth more than others on the scale. This, also, does not imply that those species worth less are necessarily maladaptive, just not as great as those worth more. Nor does the scale measure by size alone. A Camarasaurus, for example, is worth more than a Stenonychosaurus. But, while the former is larger than the latter, a Styracosaur beats out a Camarasaur in terms of 'Dino-Merit', if you will, despite an overall size handicap.

Generally speaking, there are certain species at the top of every Genus, Family, and Subfamily, and perhaps even at the head of the Suborders, as well.
Take, for example, the Theropods. The Tyranosaurus and the Utah-Raptor are both roughly the equivalent of each other in Dino-Merit, and both certainly are at the head of the Theropods. Each beats out their close relatives in the Theropod subgroups hands down. The Utah-Raptor beats out the Deinonychus, Tyranosaurs beat out Ceratosaurs, and so on and so forth.
Now, on a larger scale you must compare the different groups of Dinosaurs. Just as a Tyranosaurus and a Utah-Raptor are at the heads of their subgroups and are therefore roughly equal, so too will the heads of the larger groupings be roughly equivalent. To clarify, a Diploducus (which is among the top Sauropods) is equivalent to a Tyranosaurus.

Other examples can be found in the Ornithischia. At the head of the 'Armored' division would be the Stegasaurus and the Ankylosaurus. The 'Horned' Ceratopsian division is, of course, fronted by the Triceratops and, arguably, Styracosaurs as well. Finally, the Ornithopod subgroup is led by the likes of Edmontosaurs and so on.

To further elaborate on the use of the Scale of Dinosaurs, we must implicate cross comparisons...
The aforementioned Edmontosaurus, which is the best of 'duckbills', beats out the Hypacrosaurus in its own group. But what about other groups? Let us go back to the mighty Diploducus. If one were to compare this Sauropod to an under-ranking duckbilled Hypacrosaur, you would, as expected, find the Diploducus to be of greater Dino-Merit value. Furthermore, Utah-Raptors beat Protoceratops, Brachiasaurs beat Parksosaurs, and Stegasaurus beats Centrosaurs, etc. etc.

To sum all of this up, the 'Having of Dinosaurs' is rated on the 'Scale of Dinosaurs'. The total value of one's collective Dinosaurs is measured in terms of 'Dino-Merit'. A greater quantity of Dinosaurs does not necesarily mean than it is of greater value. It would be more adventageous to have a small number of high value Dinosaurs than to have a slightly greater number of low value dinosaurs. Conversely though, it would be better to have a great many Dinosaurs of middle or lower ranking than to have only one or two of high Dino-Merit.

One should always manage their Dinosaurs wisely.
Common Usage of the Scale of Dinosaurs

General

1) Positive - "Wow! That guy is awesome! He has so many Dinosaurs!"

2) Negative - "Josh is such a loser. He has no Dinosaurs."

Specific

3) Positive - "I just aced my mid-term! I have a Diploducus!"

4) Negative - "Oh man, what a fool that man is. He doesn't even have a Protoceratops."

Mixed/Conversational

5) Positive -
"You seem to be having a good day today. Have you gained a Dinosaur?"
"Yes, actually. I just earned another Parasaurolophus."

6) Negative -
"You've been acting like a moron all day! You're losing a Dinosaur for this!"
"I don't care. I still have two Nodoaurs and an Allosaurus."

Comparative

7) Diploducus > Centrosaurus

8) Protoceratops < Utah-Raptor

9) Tyranosaurus = Diploducus

Mathematical

10) 3 x Stegasaurus > Coelophysis + Deinonychus

11) Diploducus > Tyranosaurus - Protoceratops

12) Triceratops + Utah Raptor = 2 x Tyranosaurus

The Scale of Dinosaurs, Copyright © Jeff Johnson 2004

(that's right, I copyrighted it.)
by Bythorsbeard January 12, 2005
Something widely believed in but nonexistant. Moonist propaganda is commonly spread by agents of the Lunar Conspiracy telling the masses that a large natural satellite is in orbit of the Earth. This ridiculous suggestion, however, is taken as fact by million upon millions of Americans and their international counterparts everyday.

In reality, the moon is only a hologram.

Of course the technology of the Moon Hoax has changed with the times. In the 1800's, the moon was actually a hot air balloon of sorts. During the renaissance it was a large oil painting hung on a very tall pole clevery disguised to blend into the skyline. The earlier you go, the cruder the methods become... with some of the very earliest 'moons' being as poor as a medium sized rock, roughly spherical in shape, tied by a rope of sorts to a high branch in a tree, but people were even earier to fool in those days and didn't ask too many questions. Now, however, the technology is much more sophisticated and a great deal of complex 'explanations' as to the 'reasons' for all of the inaccuracies of 'Lunar Existance Theory' are expounded by members of the aforemention conspiracy group.
"Honey, doesn't the moon look romantic tonight?"
"I don't know about you baby, but all i see is a hologram!"
by Bythorsbeard March 31, 2005

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