16 definitions by Btwitsjennifer

Unsingle

(1) The state of being in a committed relationship with someone who is not committed to the relationship.

(2) Not single, but not officially in a relationship.

I have wasted many years being an unsingle woman, giving my heart to men who never had any intention of committing to me exclusively.

by Btwitsjennifer April 2, 2019

#somewhere

The hashtag used when referring to a speakeasy in Anderson, South Carolina.

Text Messages between two best friends:

Friend 1: That picture you posted of you and that tall Guy was hot! Where did y’all end up going?

Friend 2: #somewhere!

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

Sneaky Aunt Martha

(n.) a surprise technique used by a woman being fucked from behind. The woman buries her face in a pepper covered pillow to make herself sneeze at the same time her man starts to cum. The sneeze will cause her vaginal muscles to grip his ejacualting dick like the airway-constricting hug from fat Aunt Martha little boys try to hide from at family reunions.

My wife’s Sneaky Aunt Martha hugged my dick so tight, I was gasping for air when I busted a nut.

by Btwitsjennifer April 24, 2018

foodnotized

Verb—a state of total mesmerization caused by delicious looking food where people will stare at food for long periods of time, either in pictures or in person, without eating it and think about how absolutely great it probably is while heavily salivating.

When Neil plated the puffy tacos and overloaded chili burrito with homemade guacamole, Jennifer was instantly foodnotized. All she could do was stare and drool over the delicious meal.

by Btwitsjennifer March 26, 2018

Pop-n-slop

(n.) the name for a quick, mildly uncomfortable, slap to the head of a penis followed by an ultra-wild blow job with fast, head-focused bobbing action while slop-like food is in the mouth. This advanced technique works best on the man who hates surprises. It will cause simultaneous anger and arousal, and he will dominate the blow job forcing slop to go everywhere. A well-mastered pop-n-slop should be so messy that it causes the giver to produce involuntary pig noises while trying to catch a breath between thrusts.

The first time I farted in front of my boyfriend, I was giving him a pop-n-slop. He ended up fucking my face so hard that I gagged and farted at the same time.

by Btwitsjennifer June 5, 2018

Baby Cougar

(n.) a confident woman age 35-39 who is usually out of the club scene but like to go every once in a while just to turn up. She easily attracts men who are younger than she is because of her beauty, wisdom and drama-free lifestyle. She enjoys girl trips, dick deliveries, collecting vibrators, island baecations, getting dolled up for dinner dates, drinking wine at home, spa dates, cooking to old R&B, calm bars and lounges, and weekends having nasty sex and watching movies.

Girl 1: Did you see your mom dancing with that college boy last night?

Girl 2: Yes! He followed her around like a puppy dog all night!

Girl 1: She took him home! Girl, Yo mama is a baby cougar!

by Btwitsjennifer April 27, 2018

BLMAO

BLMAO is an acronym that stands for Belly Laughing My Ass Off. People usually use this acronym in texti when they find something so funny that they are laughing deeply, or if they cannot stop laughing.

Text Message

Girl 1: Oh my God, the puppy just peed on his leg! Lol

Girl 2: You’re kidding?! LMAO

Girl 1: GIRL! That puppy just threw up on his lap too!!! He’s pissed! LMAO

Girl 2: You are killing me! Stop! BLMAO

by Btwitsjennifer June 14, 2018