The reason I stopped playing with my friends.
I'm not getting Call of Duty 8: Modern Warfare 3. End of story.
It doesn't matter if all of my friends won't shut up about how they unlocked the AK-47 - gee, I wonder how many times I've done that in an FPS - and they don't seem to realize that Russians actually use modified variants of AK-47s, not the base model designed by Mikhail Kalashnikov.
"An AK-74? Oh, you mean the AK-74u (That's AKS-74u to you, mister)"
I have Battlefield 3 Limited Edition, I enjoy everything about it, and I don't care if a few of the bugs my friends experienced in the beta are a dealbreaker (Are they stupid?)
I'm playing Battlefield 3 and I'm not playing MW3. If you say, "Do you want to play Call of Duty?" I'm going to say, "Yes" and launch Call of Duty. Not Call of Duty 8, or Call of Duty 7, Call of Duty.
"NO KITTY THIS IS MY POT PIE!"
"NO KITTY THAT'S A BAD KITTY!"
"MOOOOM! KITTY'S BEIN' A DILDO!"
"Well then I know a certain kitty-kitty that's sleeping with mommy tonight!"
"No kitty, this is my pot pie" is perhaps one of the funniest masterpieces in South Park.
Meme based on a quote from Bethesda's RPG, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Guards would frequently tell the player "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow in the knee." The Internet joke modifies the independent clause to make it relevant to the topic.
I used to think arrow in the knee jokes were funny, but then I took an arrow in the knee. It wasn't funny.
Useful for three things.
1) You're poor/out of town/on a coffee break and you need/want free Internet.
2) You're going to be spending hours working on schoolwork and need a caffeine injection to sustain yourself.
3) Both A and B
1) Jimmy: We're going to New York City... hold on, there's a S'Bucks up ahead. I'm going to check Google Maps for a sec to see where we are
2) Bob: Yeah, my thesis paper is due tomorrow. I'm going to Starbucks. A few shots there should keep me awake, if a little jittery, so I don't crash on the keyboard.
3) Mike: Oh shit. My presentation is due tomorrow and I haven't actually started it. I'm headed off to Starbucks with my laptop. Once a few drinks are in my system, I'm going to set to work and search the stuff I need on Wikipedia
, then type it up in different words, cite a vaguely related source, and fancy it up - hopefully the teacher will think I spent the last two weeks on it.
The perfect place for sexual innuendos
1) Yeah. Everytime I come home from work I really turn on my computer.
2) When my sister is finished with her homework I go someplace quiet and get on my computer.
3) I had plenty of money, so I went out and got a pimped out computer. She cost $3100 and she was worth every penny.
4) My computer is do damn hot, I had to go to the store and buy a fan to preserve everything else in my life.
Whether you're watching a movie, talking to your boss, flirting with a pretty girl, or listening to your teacher, some asshole
standing next to you will rip a massive fart that abruptly interrupts whatever is happening. Everyone will stop what they are doing and look at you in disgust. This colossal fart is known as "Hiroshima".
Boss: ...and so our branch is getting budget cuts, meaning you'll have to-*HIROSHIMA*
-awkward silence as people stare at you-
Boss: ...As I was saying, the tough economy means that I-*HIROSHIMA*... am firing *points to you* you because we are being forced to lay off non-essential staff. You are no longer required.