Skip to main content

Braveheart's thirst for blood's definitions

Death++

A mythical programming language, similar to C++, where you describe in a text file how you want someone to die, usually in a gruesome way, and the compiler 3D renders a video file of the death complete with blood and guts. A game which I wish they would make but the do-gooders won't allow it because they think it will make kids go on killing sprees.

--sample Death++ code:--
/* mayandrink.dpp Mayan Sacrifice */
#include <athame.h>
#include <goblet.h>

create(victim1);
Standup(victim1);
SlitThroat(victim1,athame1,1,1){
while throat(victim1) not bleeding{
waitVblankStart()/* wait for blood to start oozing out */
}
}
while throat(victim1) bleeding and goblet not full{
goblet.place(underthroat) /*catch the blood in the goblet */
}
/* the grand finale! drinking the human blood! */
goblet.drink(self,GOBLET_CAPACITY);
end();
Lamer1: "I'm bored, lets play the game Dance Dance Revolution:Skyclad Forest Edition!"
Man1: "Naw, let's make a Mayan Sacrifice Ritual video in Death++!"
mugGet the Death++mug.

healing crystal

A crystal that actually used to heal the user back in the days when Faeries roamed the earth. Now used by New Agers that think it still works in modern times.
Naddavitch:"I've had the runs since August 2000. Got anything that could help me?"
Enya:"Here, try my healing crystal."
mugGet the healing crystalmug.

MTBF

1. In machines, the amount of time, when operating a bank of machines, between any one of them failing. Not lifetime, as hard drive manufacturers want you to think. It is the average amount of time between failures of indivdual parts when talking about a system.

2. In biology, the average lifespan of each individual organism which has a particular set of genes or "environment of luck". An "environment of luck" can be something like all people who fly on a plane, living around individuals who want you dead in the worst way,all people who smoke, or some other demographic.
1. When punching laced cards on a bank of keypunch punched-card makers, the average MTBF is about three cards.
1. In an average house, it is normal to burn out 3 incandescent light bulbs in a month. Therfore the MTBF is 10 days.
2. Teacher:"King tut only lived to be 19."
Mocking Student:"Wow, his MTBF is in the toilet!"
2. "The MTBF of John Benet Ramsey is quite short."
mugGet the MTBFmug.

Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed

Some guy's real name. It's a valid string for a man of an Arabian/Middle Eastern name, having the first name Mohammed, the middle name Mohammed, and the surname (last name) Mohammed. Also the most popular boys name in the entire world when you use the first name only. Mohammed M. Mohammed would be the way to say it with the middle initial.
I met this 3-1/2 foot tall guy with a black beard and turban who calls himself Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed and I picked him up, cuddled him in my arms and felt the wiry hairs on his chin.
mugGet the Mohammed Mohammed Mohammedmug.

Wiccan incendiary device

Crusader slang for a Christmas Tree/Solstice Tree. So named because of its traditional Pagan origin and it's uncanny ability to start tragic house fires during the Holidays.
Ibelin left a cigarrette near the Wiccan incendiary device in Xena's house. In 45 seconds the living room was engulfed.

Ron and Aleister took turns hanging pentacles on the Wiccan Incendiary device on Xmas eve.
mugGet the Wiccan incendiary devicemug.

scalping

1. The process of removing the human scalp from the skull, usually performed by a ticked off native.

3. Buying tickets with the intention of selling them at a later date closer to the event.
1. "Magua got tomahawked for scalping Uncas and throwing him off a cliff."
2. "I feel like going scalping, I have plenty of tickets for good seats at the public execution."
mugGet the scalpingmug.

mud prophet

Moses, the man who recieved the Ten Commandments back in Biblical Times. So called because once he learned he was supposed to deliver the Israelites from Egypt, he took it upon himself to ritually coat his lower arms and lower legs with a mixture of soil and water by making bricks with the slaves. If I was Moses and I got the chance to squish mud between my toes without anyone getting on my case I'd actually be happy. I wouldn't be happy if my friend got killed by the master butcher, though.
Prince Moses the mud prophet will deliver the Israelites from Egypt after crashing the waves of the Red Sea over Pharaoh's Chariots.
mugGet the mud prophetmug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email