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5 definitions by Bitch-monkey

 
1.
A guy who is bromosexual is totally straight. In fact he will punch you in the face if you say that he's gay. He's so totally straight that he has sex with tons of chicks... sure his bro might be in the room with him, maybe videotaping it (with lots of close-ups of the penis)... or doing the same girl at the same time... with their penises touching...

So what if he's always slapping his broham's ass... and always hangs out in the showers at the gym... and yeah, maybe he was in a few circle jerks in middle school... and sure he puts his penis and/or testicles on his friends' faces every chance he gets when they're passed out drunk... and sure that frat initiation thing was a bit weird, but...

HE IS TOTALLY 100% NOT GAY.
Dude: You're so gay.
Bromosexual: Shut up! I will FUCK YOU IN THE ASS if you say I'm gay!!!
Other dude: Heh. Wait... what?
by Bitch-monkey December 18, 2007
 
2.
Gay.
"I'm not gay." <---- spoken by a closeted homosexual.
by Bitch-monkey June 02, 2009
 
3.
A guy is totally straight when he is completely, 100%, definitely not gay. This is the kind of guy who will let you know, at every opportunity that he isn't gay... very not gay. Boy is this guy not gay. Hey, did you ever hear him tell you about the time he was totally having sex with this chick? This guy is NOT GAY... just ask him... or don't, he'll tell you anyway.
"Man, I'm so totally straight. I would never have sex with a dude, I have sex with women! Did I mention that I'm straight?"
by Bitch-monkey June 02, 2009
 
4.
Sometimes, someone will threaten to punch you in the face when you have upset them to some degree. This is considered, amongst the lower primates (see bro), to be one of the best ways to win an argument. Typically, the implication is that, by punching you in the face, the "victor" would be vindicated. Also, this often implies that you are a gigantic faggot... as opposed to the guy punching you... who is always totally straight.

Beware those who actually WILL punch you in the face rather than just threaten to do so. They can often be identified by the imprints of some guy's teeth on their knuckles.
Guy A: "Dude, why are you sucking that guy's dick?"

Guy B: "Shut up! I'll punch you in the face if you say I'm gay!"

Guy A: "Yeah, THAT'LL prove you're not gay..."
by Bitch-monkey June 02, 2009
 
5.
A "saying" that originates from sub-human animals (see also hipsters) who claim to like The Simpsons but can't be bothered to actually quote anything accurately. The CORRECT line is "My eyes! The googles do nothing!"
Douche: "The goggles! They do nothing!"

Guy: "Man, what a pretentious douche... if you're going to try to sound clever by spouting pop culture references, you should at least get them right."

Attractive Girl: "You're so right, I'll have sex with YOU now instead of that loser."
by Bitch-monkey September 08, 2009