When a guy stares at a chick, rubs his package, and shouts, "rub my package and I'll grant you three wishes!!!"
That chick was so hot, I had to give her an Aladdin package rub.
The douche bag at the country club/ golf course/ yacht club who has to tell everyone about himself in a blow-hardy way.
Did you hear that Douche Baggington talking about his sailing vacation in the Caribbean? Who gives a fuck!
Using your eyes to undress someone other than your partner. Generally done on the sly while with your partner.
I had some crazy ocular infidelity staring at those cheerleaders while Jen and I were at the game.
An instrument used to measure the amount of retardation in a person or situation. The measurement is displayed in units of tard, with a low of one tard and a high of 100 tards. Similar to a Geiger counter.
Did you see how stupid that chick was? I got a reading of 63 tards on my tardtometer.
After eating copious amounts of chili, you shit so much that it feels like you were anally raped.
The BBQ was great but the next morning I was chili raped on the shitter.
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