Aspirex's definitions

Pirate Rules

The following rules apply to pirate road trips:

1. All involved dress like pirates.
2. No pirate may change their clothes or shower for the whole trip.
3. Aargh! is to be said as a part of every sentence.
4. The following word substitutions must be made at all times:
a) Car = Ship or Vessel
b) Driver = Captain
c) Left = Port
d) Right = Starboard
e) Girl/Woman = Wench
f) Steal = Pillage
5. On a rotating basis, one pirate in the ship is the Cabin Boy. The Cabin Boy must do whatever anyone else tells him to do.
6. The main beverage must be rum - wenches may drnk Bacardi Breezers.
7. Whenever there are empty bottles, it is time for Cannon Practice: try to hit roadsigns as you pass them.
8. If a pirate farts, he must call Windows Up. The ship windows must be rolled up, the air conditioner must be changed to recycled air, and nobody may wave the fart smell away from themselves.

(Pirate Rules)
Non-Pirate: Ten slabs of beer.
Pirate: Argh! What be this beer of which you speak? Ten bottles of your cheapest rum, check-out wench. Argh.

by Aspirex November 17, 2005

rogaining

A particularly munt-filled beer drinking event. Competitors compete head to head in an event in which they must skol one beer at each of five stations, and sprint around 50m between stations (often a circuit is set up with the first and last stops at the same station). Notorious for shaking and bloating the stomach while drinking, causing mass amounts of high-velocity chunder into bins which are generally kept at the stations.

D'ya see him munt all over himself at the rogaining?

by Aspirex November 17, 2005

bag of marijuana

Slang term for boogie-board, surfboard, or any other type of wave-riding board. Reference to the Schapelle Corby case, in which Schapelle Corby failed miserably in an attempt to smuggle marijuana into Indonesia in a boogie-board bag.

Nice bag of marijuana you've got on your roof-rack.

by Aspirex November 19, 2005

bill buckner

In any sport, to have the ball accidentally roll between one's legs, based upon the famous error in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series.

The Baggers scored the goal after Darren got Bill Buckner-ed by the footy.

by Aspirex December 26, 2005

square root of sweet fuck all

Even less than sweet fuck all.

1: I've got about the square root of sweet fuck all beer in this place.

by Aspirex November 17, 2005

Jill Singer

Australian "commentator" from the loony left whose articles can be found in the Herald Sun, among other newspapers and forums. Her articles generally consist of an initial contention, and then half a page of waffle which somehow blames the Liberal/National Coalition or the US for the problem. Articles often go well beyond the proverbial 'six degrees of separation' before eventually making a vague link.

Jill Singer: There was a tsunami in the Indian Ocean, causing millions of dollars of damage to Thailand, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, etc, and killing thousands. Blah blah blah blah blah. And that's why the tsunami is specifically the fault of George W. Bush.

by Aspirex November 20, 2005

shnorkel

A technique for the rapid consumption of beer from bottles. A bendy straw is inserted into the top of the bottle, and is bent over the side; then, the beer can be consumed from the mouth of the bottle, leaving the bendy straw exposed to allow air into the bottle.

1: Everyone outside, we're shnorkelling.

by Aspirex November 17, 2005