Definitions by Anony!
Cooking
To cook something, make it hot for a while. Then it's cooked. It's a doddle. I was amazed too when I found out how simple cooking is.
Food
For the sake of clarity and brevity, the word 'food' here means anything you can put in your mouth that doesn't kill you. However, there is an exception to this tenet which you'll find in the section on sex
Kitchen
A mysterious place full of sharp, pointed objects, deadly gas-operated incinerators, things that go 'ping' and a big, cold wardrobe full of beer which is the only true incentive for entering the room in the first place
*there is no example at this time*