Having a bat, masturbating, jerkin' the gherkin, crank the shaft, cook the cream of cock, do the rattlesnake shake, engage in hand to gland combat, give yourself a low five, five fingered friendless fandango, mashing the monster, ram the ham, slam the spam, yank the crank!
"Dude i had the best fuckin' wacko last night in the shower, i lasted a whole two minutes!"
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