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7 definitions by ABN_PMPN505

 
1.
The attitude, lifestyle, dress, and general demeanor of an 82nd Airborne DIV Paratrooper, predominantly seen around Ft. Bragg NC, and characterized by a ferocious 'don't give a fuck' attitude. (See also: badass)

One who exibits Fort Bragg Swag typically comes equipped with mild PTSD and a significant amount of disposable income from combat deployments. He has a chip on his shoulder, a severe thirst for debauchery, and a firm reputation to uphold.

He can usually be found:
A). Driving wrecklessly (sometimes intoxicated) at odd hours of the day.
B). Carrying on obnoxiously loud / vulgar conversations with at least 4 other friends in family restaurants
C). Kicking ass and/or taking names in and around Fayetteville, NC bars
D). Trying to stick his dick in anything that moves. The recreational pursuit of obese women for sport / bragging rights, (See also: Hogging) is a particularly favorite past time.

He treats the world as his blow up doll. Pre-games more than most people drink all night, and generally lives too intensely for any piece of equipment in his life to hold up. .

Fort Bragg Swag means he usually leaves a distinct, contiguous pattern of scarring across the things he touches in all aspects of his endeavor. The scars on his face match the scuffs on his desert boots, the blood on his gloves, the notches on his bed post, the gashes in the wood of his favorite guitar and so forth.
<Army chick> My boyfriend is such a fuckin' asshole, I had to pick him up this morning, the Cops found him passed out with two chicks in the water of a water hazard on a golf course.

<College chick> "What a fucking dick!!"

<Army chick> "Yeah but girrrrll tonight he popped a couple of study buddies and violated me in ways most men only dream about."

<College chick> "Daaaamn, can you hook me up w/ some of his friends, girrrll?? I need that kinda Fort Bragg Swag in my life."

<82nd dude #1> "Bro, this weekend was fuckin' balls out insane. We got shit tanked at Chilis, I laid 3 chicks, we got in a fuckin fight in the strip club parking lot, I pissed on a homeless dude, busted off a full magazine at that big ass water tower off All American FWY, I got kicked out of 3 different bars and we got the cops called on us for riding our 4 wheeler through a residential neighborhood at 5am."

<82nd dude #2> "Jesus f'n Christ, That's fuckin' badass! How are you still alive?"

<82nd dude #1> "Don't judge me, dog, it's that Fort Bragg Swag. You've seen me in the shower, you know how good my cock looks in my 82nd Airborne Reenlistment shorts.....So you ready for this run??"
by ABN_PMPN505 July 27, 2011
230 64
 
2.
A term used in the US Army to denote extreme uselessness. It is directed toward something or someone that is the figurative equivalent of the literal hot sloppy pile of shit that a gob of soup between two pieces of sandwich bread would be.

So the implication here is that the object of discussion is 'Fucked up like a soup sandwich.'

Equivalent expressions in the civilian world are:
Tore up from the floor up.
Useless as tits on a boar..
and so forth.
Drill Sergeant: "Private you can't do anything right, you could break a goddamn crow-bar. Why I couldn't trust you to remove the lint from the back side of my ball sack with a piece of goddamn hundred MPH tape. You're about as worthless as a soup sandwich."

Drill Sergeant: "You are the lowliest goddamn example of hot garbage I have EVER seen. You look like a goddamn soup sandwich, that uniform looks like you pressed it under your mattress springs, and those dusty ass boots look like you shined them with a snicker bar and a goddamn green pad. That is goddamn un-sat, Private. Report to my office immediately following this formation to be skullfucked appropriately."
by ABN_PMPN505 June 18, 2011
48 15
 
3.
A US Air Force cargo plane fully loaded with combat equipped US Army Paratroopers - Some of the nations most unequivocally certified bad ass motherfuckers - on their way to a real world, or simulated airborne insertion.

When those Paratroop Doors open over what ever third world shit-pile they've been dispensed to, and that jump caution light turns green all manners of whoop-ass will assuredly commence on the ground below.

see LGOPS
You see that C17 Globemaster out there on the tarmac son? That Aircraft can hold 102 combat equipped paratroopers. When the President picks up the red phone and dials, they can have that can of whoop ass in the air smokin, headed anywhere in the World in 18 hours or less.
by ABN_PMPN505 June 21, 2011
26 19
 
4.
In casual US Army Airborne lingo, hold squat is used as an expression when you have to wait on someone or something else before you can complete a task, or to mean hang tight motherfucker, I got this..

The casual usage of the word is derived from the command "Hold, Squat" issued during the Jumpmaster Personnel Inspection (JMPI) sequence for combat equipped Paratroopers in the US Army. It is issued at the time in the sequence when the jumper is to lift his ruck, which is hanging at his waist, and squat down so that the Jumpmaster may inspect the underside of the ruck and parts of the parachute harness that would be obscured from view by the ruck.
Specialist: "SGT someone called asking if you had done blah-blahblah."

Sergeant: "Yeah I'm all over that, tell them to hold squat."

Platoon Sergeant: "Hey did you send those guys out there to fix that fuckin' antenna?"

Section Sergeant: "Well we're in a hold squat pattern on that right now cause it's too dark and the wind is too high for them to fuck with it safely."
by ABN_PMPN505 June 18, 2011
6 0
 
5.
Abrasions on the side of the neck that US Army Paratroopers may sometimes get as the result of their parachute risers coming into contact with their neck during the deployment of their parachute.

This is experienced mainly by inexperienced jumpers who don't know to keep their chin on their chest when they exit an aircraft, or by badasses who like to look up to actually watch their parachute canopy as it deploys and opens and don't mind a little riser burn in order to do that.
>> What the fuck, Airborne? Is that riser burn on your neck or some kind of fucking eczema?

>> What, this? Oh no, your mom left those bite marks all over my neck, now shut the fuck up before I fuck your sister, puke on your girlfriend, and fistfuck you in the ass around the PT track while I sing cadence, you cherry fucking homo.
by ABN_PMPN505 June 18, 2011
3 0
 
6.
Literally, "Jumpers Hit It" is a command used in the US Army Airborne community to initiate the "Hit It" exercise. It is a drill used to familiarize jumpers with the action of activating the reserve parachute if they feel no opening shock after a 4 second count.

In Airborne lore, "Jumpers Hit It" is a classically common tramp stamp tattoo among female parachute riggers and female paratroopers in general.

The "Jumpers Hit It" tattoo is an iconic representation of everything that is desirable in the character and persona of a truly successful female paratrooper. She is bold. She has a twisted sense of humor on par with that of her male counterparts. She is without inhibitions sexually. Most importantly, her intrinsic level of comfort with her debaucherous drunken exploits with many many partners is so ingrained into her personality, she thinks a permanent indicator of that, tattooed on her body is funny as hell.
>> Dude have you ever actually seen a girl who had the Jumpers Hit It tattoo??

>> Nah but I saw pictures of it in the books in several tattoo shops around Fort Bragg, NC..so I know at least some girls out there have to have it..
by ABN_PMPN505 June 18, 2011
4 1
 
7.
U.S. Army Airborne slang for the phenomenon in which one has to shit so badly it could blow at any moment.

Having 'Jumpers in the door' is an emergency situation usually characterized by a frantic race to the toilet, and in which if a bathroom facility is not located immediately a huge mess in one's underwear could occur.

The actual phrase is coined after a chalk of U.S. Army paratroopers awaiting the green light during an Airborne operation, so they may exit the aircraft -- particularly the number 1 jumper who is waiting directly in front of the door for the light to change.

The civilian equivalent of this expression are, Turtlehead poking our, or TTF - Turd Touching Fabric
Dude #1, "Hey man, why are you walking like that? Where are you going in such a hurry??"

Dude #2, "Can't talk right now bro, got Jumpers in the door.."
by ABN_PMPN505 November 22, 2011
2 0