wool cardigan

This is the most dangerous, germ infested, garment of a hipster's attire. Touching one of these gives you a serious chance of suffering from hipsterpes, especially if found in a thrift store (crack house for hipsters). In fact, the virus responsible for hipsterpes originated from the hipstersheep, who were bred for their organic wool. Do not be tempted by the nice colors or artistic scenery woven into the fabric, this is a mere tactic to make you want to approach the said cardigan, therefore increasing you risk of contracting hipsterpes.

Actual inscription on the label of a wool cardigan "Caution, may cause hipsterpes"

by MasterofAwesome January 14, 2011