"Do we really need to have these update meetings every 2 hours? You want to know what I did for the past two hours, I was in other meetings, just like the two hours prior. I haven't wrote jack shit for code, but I am really getting sick of hearing Brenda say, 'Can you see my screen now?'"
Project manager responds, "We practice Scrum methodology here. If you don't like it go to Diane's team, they use Crystal Methods"
Stoned application developer responds, "Crystal Meth? Where is Diane's team?"

I've been jabbed