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When a couple has been dating a while, some tend to get, uh, comfortable. Really comfortable, as in, the girl starts growing out the carpet downstairs (along with putting on ten pounds and a pair of sweat pants).

So, a guy tends to meet a girl, and she's all stoked on bikini waxes and the like, so naturally he thinks he's found himself a winner, so they date a while. But low and behold, after after a few months, Chubakah takes over.

A premuff is a contract (like the prenup) that binds the girl, at signing, to a minimum level of hygiene.
Example 1

Girl: You know Tom, its been a while now and, since we're exclusive and all, I don't see why we can't call each other girlfriend and boyfriend

Guy: That sounds great, but before we do that, I want us to go over this contract together - its not that I don't trust you, honey I know you'll keep shaving, but its just that I've heard horror stories, will you sign it just for my own reassurance?

Example 2

Guy just ties the knot = Relationship: Dude, Sarah and I are official, finally! Man, I'm stoked bro, we're gonna do everything together, and we're even talking about moving in!

Friend of guy: That's awesome! You guys really seem happy together. But dude, you signed a premuff right?

Guy that just tied the knot: Nah man, I trust her, she ain't gonna go all Chubakah on me.

Friend of guy: Duuuuuude, you fucked up man, watch, six months in she's gonna grow it out and wondering why you don't love her no more. Damn dude, always have em sign the premuff.
by TDHG December 31, 2011
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