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penis bearer 

Term used by women as a generic reference in place of "a man" or "a guy." Used primarily in the context of tasks requiring particular masculine qualities, such as strength, or when alluding to generalized masculine stereotypes of behavior or attitude.
"How are we going to get all these boxes moved?" "Oh, I'm sure we can find a penis bearer to do it for us."

"You know once we get this all set up, some penis bearer is just going to tell us we did it all wrong."
penis bearer by elea26 August 14, 2008
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Penis Beaker 

Mumsnet (2013)

A Penis Beaker is a post-coital cleaning receptacle for men, must not be confused with a glass for drinking water
We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a penis beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me
Penis Beaker by AIBU YABU October 9, 2013
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piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
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