Pahoehoe

At the moment of climax during heterosexual copulation, the male ejaculates no more than 1 3/8 inches into the females vaginal orifice distal (the opening). When the male's ejaculate begins to exit the vaginal opening, the male inserts "Pop Rocks" into is oral cavity and then proceeds to insert his lingua (aka tongue) between the female’s labia. The result is an explosion of fun for the couple to enjoy and reminisce about for years to come. The female gets to pretend she is a 'soda jerk' for a few moments as carbonation spews from her 'hu-ha'. For the male, this response provides him with a sense of arousal and accomplishment as this reminds him of the volcano he created in science class; furthermore the taste is of creamy "Pop Rocks" soda, salmon, with a touch of spunk creating a party in his mouth and everyone's invited.1

1. Pop Rocks. Pop Rocks. Website. Accessed July 30, 2015.

The gentleman suitor screamed in spewed man milk in the trailer queen's cupid box, he quickly grasped the box of Pop Rocks from the old purple wafer board bedside table, knocking over the cans of beer. Jethro then tipped the box to his lips and poured the sweet carbonated treat into his mouth. Before swallowing the sizzling candy, he bends down and inserts his tongue between her labia and produces a creamy frothy mixture of vajinal mucus, male spackle, and sugary fruity candy. "Oooooh" she squeals in delight; “Pahoehoe?” she asks. "Pahoehoe", he answers with his muffled voice muted by her muffin. "What? I can't understand you with your tongue in my box", says she. He raises his head and responds annoyingly "Pahoehoe! Can you hear me now? Are you deaf woman?" "I thought so, you cheeky devil" she laughed with delight. (Her laughter met with silence. "Jethro, did you hear me?” Lorlene asked. She looked and Jethro was asleep, his gin-induced drunken face resting on her pelvic pubic bush; mouth drooling in pahoehoe like sloppy white frosting on a muffin. The sizzle of Pop-Rocks was all she heard...

Nine months later, Lorlene and Jethro had a child with a Swiss cheese head.

by Dr. Blue O'Girthy July 30, 2015