northern virginian 

A native born local resident of the Northern Virginia DC Metropolitan area. Northern Virginians are considered Northerners by everybody but themselves. They comprise a small fraction of the small fraction of the native born Virginians that live in the Northern Virginia area. They occasionally ponder the possibility of splitting away from Richmond, taking their money with them and forming a separate state. They regularly tell personal anecdotes about literal run- ins with Maryland drivers.

Billy: " Aren't you sick of being treated like crap by the suits in Richmond?"

Bob: " Yeah, I think we should keep our tax dollars right here."

Billy: " You were born in this area, weren't you?"

Bob: " Yep, Northern Virginian born and bred, baby!"

northern virginian by NOVAN January 31, 2014

Northern Virginia 

Has some of the America's worst traffic jams.

He got stuck in the traffic in Northern Virginia for hours and hours.

Northern Virginia by Pancakes and Syrup July 23, 2007

northern virginia stop sign 

a regular stop sign but instead of coming to a complete stop u slow down a lot but not a complete stop

wait, this is a northern virginia stop sign, no need to slow down

northern virginia stop sign by altrep26 April 19, 2009

Northern Virginia 

A region in the north of Virginia consisting of Fairfax, Arlington, Loudon, Prince William, Alexandria, and Falls Church. It is a largely suburban area. It is home to an unusually high proportion of immigrants and minorities, particularly Asians. Because most Northern Virginians either moved to the area recently or are descended from people who did, the region's culture is not primarily Southern as the rest of Virginia is, and it tends to vote liberal more than the rest of the state. Its economy is heavily influenced by its proximity to Washington D.C., and many residents work in the government or technology. These industries have made Northern Virginia is very affluent, and as of 2009, 4 of the top 10 highest-income counties in the U.S. are in Northern Virginia. Lower education in Northern Virginia is some of the best in the country.

Some immature Northern Virginians condescend to Southern Virginians and whine about their tax dollars going to the south. Some immature Southern Virginians complain about how arrogant, bratty, and stupid they like to imagine Northern Virginians are. Most people in both regions are normal, perfectly nice people who know better than to define themselves by the patch of geography they happen to live on.

Alice: Hi, I'm from Northern Virginia.
Bob: Hi, I'm from Southern Virginia.
Alice: Uh oh... you're not an illiterate, racist redneck, are you?
Bob: Um, no. You're not a shallow, soulless trust-fund brat, are you?
Alice: Not really. Hey, do you want to go make fun of Californians instead?
Bob: Yeah, I can't stand those guys!

Northern Virginia by lukebn May 23, 2010

Northern Virginia Girls 

Stuck up. Snobby. Only interested in male athletes and frat boys that wear skin tight salmon colored mini shorts and ruffled blue button up shirts.

Most conversations with them are more like Q&A sessions in THEIR favor with no reciprocation.

They spend most of their time burning money with their daddy’s credit cards and the ones that are single are latched onto some dream guy they think exists outside of their skulls.

Most just want a guy who’s a vibrator with a wallet. Future proud openly admitted housewives. Nothing more nothing less.

*disclaimer - there are very intelligent ones in the NOVA area even though they’re very rare to come across.

Northern Virginia Girls are the 21st century equivalent of Valley Girls.

Northern Virginia Girls by Poncho Sanchez August 13, 2018

northern virginia 

The armpit of Washington, D.C. AKA "Nova" (not to be confused with the local Northern Virginia Community College, which is also known colloquially by that name), this suburban area is known for its excessive, endless traffic, regardless of the time of day, and for its extremely high quantity of generic douchebags wearing brown flip-flops. There isn't really a cultural vibe associated with this area, as a lot of the population is transplants from other places who moved there for business reasons (as opposed to NYC or Boston, for example). Therefore, it is overpopulated and sucks ass. However, you can always grab a cup of coffee at the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks.

Bob: Hey, look at that guy over there with brown flip-flops. He seems like a douche.
John: Yeah, I bet he's from Northern Virginia.

"We've got dudes in brown flip-flops, dudes in brown flip-flops- HOLY CRAP WHY ARE ALL THESE DUDES WEARIN' BROWN FLIP-FLOPS?????" -Remy in "The Arlington Rap," which talks about a specific city in Northern Virginia, but that particular part can be applied to the whole area.

Eric: There's nothing to do here, man...
Bob: Well, it's Northern Virginia, what do you expect?

Person stuck in traffic: OMG I HAVE LITERALLY MOVED 10 FEET IN THE LAST HALF HOUR, FUCK NORTHERN VIRGINIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

James: Hey man, you wanna go to the Starbucks?
Billy: Which one?
James: The one in Arligton.
Billy: Dude, there are like 15 there.
James: The one at Ballston.
Billy: You mean the one in the mall, or the one right outside the mall?
James: Gahhhhhh I hate Northern Virginia!

northern virginia by t3h133t0str1ch April 29, 2011

Northern Virginia 

Northern Virginia is a vast wasteland of overpriced, cheaply build, homogenous real estate that is inhabited by "upper-crust of society" suburbanites with no sense of community or civic responsiblity to others. Generally the people who live here are rude, elitest, pampered, disconcerned, ineffectual and perfectly content with the aformentioned.

Welcome to Northern Virginia, please leave your soul at the Stafford County line.

Northern Virginia by Rezilution October 7, 2008