One who makes people laugh by eating grotesque projectiles such as a) anything off the ground b) anything that has been in someone's mouth c) someone else's bodily fluids and/or c) his own bodily fluids. He may also be extremely lucky at poker or other card games, though exhibiting no skill. A "hiaasen" can also be classified as an emmerging molester (ie: throwing a nickle down to look up a teacher's skirt) or one with a terrible haircut. Also, the person can be seen walking around school wearing one of his 5 tshirts that can say "Freakin' Sweet" or "Do I know You?" in an attempt to imitate the acclaimed show Family Guy. In addition, a "hiaasen" is someone with a red or flaky face due to acne and a lack of showering. Anyone known to have touched, kissed, or dated a hiaasen has a terrible sense of judgement, looking for action, or is a man.