crime against caffeinity 

{krahym uh-genst kaf-ee-in--i-tee}

noun

1. a crime or series of crimes that involves caffeinated-beverage drinkers that expose themselves to crappy coffee, tea, soda, energy drinks, etc..., directed against individuals or large groups of people.

2. An undrinkable atrocity (coffee or tea related beverage that is too bitter, burnt, overly or insufficiently sweet, etc... ) that is directed especially against an individual or entire population or part of a population with crappy coffee grounds and without regard to individual guilt or responsibility even on such nasty coffee grounds.

Setting: End of blind date.

Bedford-Stuy Byron invites his date Flavia Flatbush to his apartment for some 'Coffee and chill.'

Flavia: Okay. What kind of coffee will you serve me? (flirty winky face)

Bedford-Stuy: Ummmmm.... Didn't think you'd accept. Will Sanka or Taster's Choice do?

Flavia (hate, anger, and disdain flash in her soul and eyes): YOU MONSTER! (knees Bedford-Stuy in the groin, crippling him to the ground). You heinous monster! Why would you serve anyone such crime against caffeinity?! (sobs and runs away as fast as her feet carry her to the nearest Williamsburg L train stop).

End scene.

crime against caffeinity by Tsarstepan April 26, 2017