congrammer

The opposite of a competent and conscientious computer programmer.

Congrammers usually don't RTFM and frequently deliver buggy and unmaintainable code, which programmers will loathe them for.

Congrammers survive in the corporate world by deceiving non-technical managers who naively appreciate them for their ass-kissing qualities and "yes sir" attitude. Some congrammers manage to go unsupervised, and by the time managers realize how badly they have damaged their product, it's sometimes too late to go back and have a programmer fix everything.

Congrammers are unlikely to give programmers any real credit for saving their projects, but programmers must willingly help them anyway since otherwise they won't be considered "team players".

Programmer 1: Hey, I can't follow this module.c code. It's filled with like magic constants and 2,000 line functions. I don't think this guy understood pointers, either... and why did he write his own shitty version of strtol()? WTF...

Programmer 2: Oh yeah... that was all done a while ago by Paul, our old congrammer at the time. After 3 years of shit they finally wised up and let him go. Your guess is as good as mine... Anyways, welcome to the team and good luck fixing that code.

Programmer 1: FML

by rylesny November 9, 2009

Conglamerous

the excited response when a friend confirms they will go on an epic drunken adventure

Boy: "Come to Wild Wings, it's magical"

Girl: "Ok I'm on my way"

Boy: "Conglamerous!"

by Kennedy2101 December 4, 2010

cockrammer

one who takes penis in the shit funnel

Troy, shut up, you fuckin' cockrammer

by Corey January 26, 2004

cockrammer

cockrammer is someone who has intercourse as fast as a ramdrill and gets the job done twice as fast leaving ladies wanting

he is such a little cockrammer

by zeak smith July 18, 2005

Contramercial

When an event or decision appears controversial, but is in fact done purely for commercial gain.

"A pair of twins won the Miss America contest this year."
"Contramercial."

by Bec Whish March 12, 2008

conjammered

Anything that is outside of the body that is congested. Stuffed, tight, wound up, close together, in a way that is not delightful and makes one want to complain.

Last night i was stuck in a small room, conjammered full of speedo wearing gay men, I mean, I got nothing against gay people it was just uncomfortable.......... and weird.

by Joppo Jacks April 22, 2005

crowgrammer

A programmer who always prefers to use shiny new technologies.

She doesn't do Java, or PHP, or Ruby. She's into Elixir, and Clojure, and Erlang and all these shiny new things. She's basically a crowgrammer.

by iam3v4n August 6, 2016