comflirting 

When your comforting someone and flirting

random dude: hey, its alright, its ok, btw your cute
girl: wtf your not slick stop flirting
rd: im not flirting.... ˇdramatically flips headˇ im comflirting

comflirting by Ima rock lol February 28, 2017

Comforting Mrs. Rosen

Euphemism for sticking your dick where it doesn't belong.

Origin: Don Draper's explanation to his daughter, Sally, after she walked in on him sleeping with a neighbor.

Where have you been?

Oh, I was just comforting Mrs. Rosen.

All night long?

She was really upset.

Comforting Mrs. Rosen by pajiba June 10, 2013

comforting a dead one 

Attempting to re-arouse an overused johnson

woman: shall we love? it is a special night afterall...

man: you can try but after all the self pleasuring ive just indulged in you would just be comforting a dead one

comforting a dead one by berrylads August 18, 2011

comforting snail 

The use of one's thumb to comfort someone when they are upset. The comforter applies their thumb in a comforting circular motion to the comfortee's upper arm, usually whilst saying "comforting snail" to avoid unnecessary confusion. The circular motion is created using the joint of the thumb - not the arm.
The concept is akin to "awkward turtle".

The level of comfort provided by comforting snail is very versatile and can be used in almost any situation. Avoid bereavements.

Charlotte: Ohh no i just dropped my fork!
Wendy: *Comforting snail*

comforting snail by Tnetennba:) June 30, 2011

conflarting 

The act of farting so hard you confuse yourself.

I was conflarting so badly I missed my exit off the turnpike.

conflarting by That's Baloney May 29, 2019

comforting fiction

An untruth we tell ourselves, or tell others, to keep from having to face facts, and to ease us through hard times.

Just wash your hands and you'll be fine, warm weather will make it disappear, only old people can die from it... one comforting fiction after another could not disguise the truth that we were all in for a long, painful journey.

comforting fiction by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2020

Conflicting Bullshits 

When a controversial issue/problem has surrounding it more than one version of the events told by different sides, but none of it is true because the real story behind the issue/problem is more problematic than is the lies that is being told in its sake- and the lies themselves, are so confusion and convoluted that it's best to leave the entire situation alone and have a cold Coors Light than to dig into any of it!

Conflicting Bullshits: When your lover says that they are is going to a co-worker that they hates' birthday party for 8pm, and someone told you that they saw them at the store with their ex-lover at 9pm, who is reportedly and to your knowledge in another country, but then also said that they also met your lover at a "party" at 8:30pm also that was not a birthday party-- but your lover really was at a satanic ritual sacrifice, in an attempt to keep your love forever.

Conflicting Bullshits by Bad Appleseed December 30, 2010