a female version of a cockblocker. prevents her female friends from getting laid, hooking up, or any action at all. They pride themselves on helping their friends make the right decision, but their friends usually don't appreciate getting cockswatted.
Kay: what do you think about will? Caroline: he's cute. why? Kay: well we're gonna hookup. Caroline: what? omfg don't do it! no! Kay: okayy i won't.... cockswatter! (She then hooks up with the boy, ignoring her friend's useless cockswatting.)
a gay man who incessantly talks about being an arse bandit as if its the best thing in the world. normally those who have recently come out and think everyone should know their shittysecret.
1. A woman who is having an affair with a married man. 2. A woman who dates men only for personal gain.
1. "I just found a picture of the woman my husband's been cheating with and boy is that cock squatter a skank." 2. "Debbie got that promotion only because she's a cock squatter."
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.