bowel trowel 

The phallus of a gentleman who is 'good with colours'.

"Christ I'm in pain here!"
"What is it Elton, are your piles playing up again?"
"No David it's me bowel trowel it's chaffed to buggery on me sequin kegs, get the vaseline would you."
Elton John's infamous backstage comments to life partner David Furnish, that were only transmitted, by some cruel trick of fate, on Iranian TV causing mass burings of his Lion King soundtrack and the slaughter of Tehran Zoo's pride of lions.
Oddly sequin imports to Iran increased by 1000% that year.

bowel trowel by Peter Cunningham May 19, 2008

bowel towels

Toilet paper.

Grab me a few pages of the New York Times, please. We're out of bowel towels again.

bowel towels by ICSHialeah August 10, 2009

bowel towel

Toilet paper

Juat nicking off to the shop to buy some bowel towel.

bowel towel by Zonal K June 25, 2018

Bowel Towel

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to use a towel conveniently hung near the toilet.

"After Michael dropped a deuce, his next best option was the bowel towel hanging next to the tub."

Bowel Towel by hansonpaulsey December 27, 2009

bowel trowler 

aka beaver leaver or vagina decliner. A homosexual.

That Barry Manilow, what a bowel trowler

bowel trowler by Pharoah of the Far Out May 5, 2004