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As an alternative to 'mouth to mouth resuscitation', ass to mouth or ass-to-mouth is the preferred method to revive turtles who have choked on jellybeans, or your friends sister who is a college freshman at her first frat party, passed out on blueberry vodka. Acceptable because turtles smell like shit and alcohol kills the taste of anything other than Taco Bell.
April O'Neil, a broadcasting and electronic media major with a minor in journalism is passed out on a brown couch, after ingesting too much blueberry vodka. Her tits are exposed from her yellow jacket, and her red hair is tied back in pig tails. She is tight as fuck.

Leonardo: Look at April O'Neil, dapt bitch is fuckin wastid nigga!

Raphael: Damn shawty. Ey, who be wandin some Taco Bale?

Leonardo: Wake dapt bi'atch up n see if she wan'somethin.

Raphael: Ay whide bitch, wake de fuck up, fa'real.

Leonardo: Ey mane, she kinda looks blue n shit. You better gib her ass to mouth resuscitation, niggin!

Raphael: Fa real?

Leonardo: Yeah niggin, we'll wait til we gets back wit dapt TB, niggin.

A little while later...

Leonardo: Aight niggin, ju ready mane?

(dropping his pants, and straddling Aprils face, Raphael situates his anus over her mouth and flatuates, blowing stool chips into Aprils air stream)

Raphael: Cowabunga dude!
by Master of Pock Suppets March 01, 2009
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