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Willy Wonka's twin drug addict. Wirry had it hard growing up. The younger of the twins, he did not receive the same love and care as his brother, Willy. When Willy revealed he was opening a chocolate factory. Wirry became depressed and turned to drugs to ease the pain. Soon, he found himself broke and homeless. To make ends meet and feed his addiction, he turned to a life of prostitution. For years, he sucked many dicks. So many dicks. Like bro, you don't know how many dicks he sucked. Countless. He wasn't racist either. He sucked all kinds of dicks. White dicks, black dicks, brown dicks, yellow dicks, blue dicks. All the dicks, man. Wow, thinking about all those dicks got me off topic. Where was I again? Ahhh, fuck it. Goddamn, the things I would do to take a fat tenderloin to the throat right now. I mean, seriously. I am so fucking hard right now just thinking about it. Maybe if I touch this cold wall next to my bed, it might reduce my sexual swelling. I mean, like, I just want to be manhandled right now by someone's horse-sized meat stick. Oh god, just the thought of it sliding in and out of my male virgin asshole makes my cock scream. But anyway, yeah, that's the sad, unfortunate story of Wirry Wonka.
Big Dick: Yo nig-nog, you heading to that circle jerk tonight?

Captain Assdick: Nah niggaroni, I'm gonna go do heavy drugs and get so fucking blasted till I can see stars with my nigga Wirry Wonka
by Wirry Wonka July 03, 2016
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