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Wetz

South Dakotan slang originating from the Chamberlain/Oacoma area during the early 21st Century. The term is used to describe:

A) Arrogant sociopaths suffering from delusions of grandeur and a grossly exaggerated sense of self-importance.

B) An ignorant sadist who delights in torturing others with repeated melodramatic recollections of past feats of sexual prowess, sporting abilities, or superhuman feats of strength which grow more exaggerated with every telling of a patently false story.

C) A narcissist who takes joy in rudely condeming the shortcomings of others because he/she is something greater than a mere mortal.
A) That frickin' Wetz thinks that the only reason he is trapped in a joyless marriage is because that woman owes him something for the pleasure of his company.

B) So this Wetz spent all day telling me about this fish he caught. At first, it was a 20 pound catfish, but by the end of the day, he claimed to have landed a 20 ton great white shark from the Missouri River using nothing more than his bare hands while having sex with four Czechoslovokian women at the same time while bungee jumping off the railroad bridge...

C) So this Wetz starts bossing the Irish kid around because the poor slob hasn't managed to somehow strangle a grizzly bear to death with the elastic band in his underwear after having drank five cases of beer, two quarts of tequila, a fistful of Viagras...
by Mike Wetzdabed June 8, 2005
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wetzle

three people needed male or female in a tight space..so you are getting a blowjob while laying on your back face fucking the guy on his knees then the guy that sucks your dick gets his ass eaten out by another guy who is getting his ass fingered and getting jerked off by the guy face fucking the other dude.. then if you like you all cum on each others resulting in a frosty wetzle
while me and my friends felt like getting it on so we all went into the dressing room of a store and we wetzled each other
by Ben Woo April 23, 2010
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Koe Wetzel

A man with a beautiful voice and great cutoff jeans. This man also drinks literally every day of his life.
Guy 1: Dude I wanna live a carefree life

Guy 2: like Koe Wetzel?

Guy 1: Hell yeah like Koe Fucking Wetzel!
by T~$w@G July 29, 2018
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Wetzel pretzel

When you shove a bit of a pretzel up your pp hole
Jim”Hey can I have a pretzel and want to do a wetzel pretzel”

Mat “sure thing Jim!”
by Afilthycasual November 10, 2020
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Wetzel

An unanticipated split in a male's stream of urine occurring as a result of excess semen in the urethra produced in a previous instance of masturbation or sex
Ex. 1) I was caught unawares by the magnitude of my Wetzel, leading to a disastrous leakage of urine onto my bathroom floor.

Ex. 2) I missed the toilet by several feet after experiencing a Wetzel of epic proportions.
by Jwetz August 6, 2014
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Pulling a Wetzel

Leaving 10 minutes early for lunch to beat the crowd
We’re pulling a Wetzel at lunch today
by Pulling a Wetzel October 30, 2018
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Ms.Wetzel

The mother of Satan. taker of phones. Crusher of dreams. Eater of butts. giver of chores
If you meet a Ms.Wetzel run immediately and pour holy water on your self to cleanse her germs
by drobyboi December 20, 2019
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