Walmart Children 

Children, ages 1 through 11, seen at Wal-Mart after 10:30pm no matter whether it is a weekday school night, holiday night, weekend night, accompanying their parents while shopping. Usually found in packs of 2 to 5 with one or two of the younger stuck drooling in the shopping cart while grabbing at items within their reach. 2 to 3 of the older ones will run amok with the parents in total ignorance of the damage being created. They cross all racial lines. The default clothing is dirty sleepwear or dirty clothing which they wore all day along with always being underdressed for cold weather- lacking coats, gloves, hats. Usually the parents with the children are a mother and aunt or mother and newest boyfriend (usually father to only the youngest child- the others being spread among two or more fathers.) They bend their parent's pathetic willpower to get cheap toys, sugary candy, or sugary drink bottles (ones with the tear off tops) or all three. This might even be their dinner since the family arrived after the in-store McDonald’s closed. In the case of the toys, the boxes are stripped off before the child’s back into the family mini-van which teaches the children the lesson of "instant gratification".

These children can also be classified as “future workers of Wal-Mart” since their parent’s failure to provide a structured family environment will generate employees who believe that working for Wal-Mart is a life goal and making $10/hour for 10 years is a good career.

John thought that he would be able to shop quickly by going to Wal-mart at 11:45pm Tuesday night but then found himself at the checkout behind a 300lb Tweety Bird shirt wearing Walmart Creature and her five Walmart Children.

John waited in line while the youngest in the cart gummed on a box of kitchen scouring pads, another girl pulled every product from the lowest display pegs and threw them on the floor, two boys fought using toy swords already ripped from the packages, the oldest girl retreived a gallon of the cheapest favored "drink" from the cooler as the mother yelled to the children's aunt in the cigarette checkout line to "Get me a carton of Basic's and a couple of packs of Marlboros for him to have when he gets home!"

John sighed and thought to himself "Our country is doomed." as he waited for the trainwreck of a family to check out.

Walmart Children by econobiker October 28, 2009