Volgons

The Volgons are probably the single most unpleasant race of the Universe. They are green and slobby, and entirely dreadful. Their poetry is the third worst in the Universe, and by no accounts should you ever let it be read to you, especially by a Vogon himself. In one instance of a Volgon poetry recital, several people died from internal hemorrhaging and one man only managed survival by gnawing off his own leg. The only thing they ever did for the Universe was get rather fat and rich and cause people to have to fill out quite a lot of paperwork, not to mention destroying Earth precisely five minutes before The Question was to be figured out. Their own planet was so disgusted with them that from that day forward it only created the most beautiful and graceful of creatures, such as the diamond-encrusted crabs which the Volgons had quite a tomfoolery of smashing and consuming, even well after they left their home planet to pursue economics.

Human: "My ears are bleeding!"
Hooloovoo: "You should never have allowed those Volgons to read you poetry!"

by chickennuggetandpotato May 23, 2011

Vogons

Fictitious alien race from Douglas Adam's
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series of books, television shows and radio plays.

Vogons are reknowned for their bad poetry, dislike of hitchhikers, bad temper and tendency to blow up mostly harmless planets.

Most Vogons tend to become bureaucrats for the galactic government, a profession ideally suited to their unpleasent natures.

A prime example of a Vogon is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz, captain of the Vogon constructor fleet that demolished the planet Earth to make way for a hyperspace bypass.

On no account allow a Vogon to read poetry at you.

by Suvorov August 3, 2004