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A Theobald Wolfgang is a person whose personality is tinged with sarcasm, which is used as a self defense mechanism in all situations. He/she will keep Orbit in business during his/her lifetime due to an insatiable chewing gum fetish.

A Theobald Wolfgang will also generally be obsessed with the movie 500 Days of Summer and Actimel yogurt drinks. He/she usually has a remarkable ability to quote entire scenes of movies perfectly but will struggle to explain exactly what the movie itself is about.

While he/she dislikes most animals, a Theobald Wolfgang will generally have an odd obsession with cats, often keeping two at a time in his/her company.

A Theobald Wolfgang will also employ a chant known only as 'The Chop' from time-to-time in an ability to highlight how obvious a statement made by his/her companion is. However, this chant is usually met with looks of incredulity from all within ear-shot of the conversation for its almost mocking tone and condescending manner.

A Theobald Wolfgang enjoys writing and playing football in his/her spare time, but will modestly claim to be useless at both despite the many accolades and praises of his/her peers.
"You got any chewing gum, Mick?

"Yeah man, here." (hands Paul a stick of gum)

"I knew you'd have some, you're such a Theobald Wolfgang."


"Man, I got Theobald Wolfganged by Christopher today."

"How so?"

"Well, we were talking about the Leeds-Spurs match and I was all like, 'Man, I can't believe Leeds could beat United but lose to Spurs', and he just started doing the Chop chant at me!"


"I was talking to Michelle the other day about 500 Days of Summer."

"That's not an intelligent thing to do, Maria."

"Tell me about it, I got one quote wrong and she essentially quoted the whole film back to me!"

"That's your own fault, you KNOW Michelle's a Theobald Wolfgang."


"Jesus, that Alana one really is modest, isn't she?"

"Yeah, I mean those poems she wrote were fantastic, she deserved her merit award from the school, yet still she gave your man, Jack, the award instead."


(both people sigh)

"That's a Theobald Wolfgang for you."
by Theobald Wolfgang February 04, 2010
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