The Brownie Diet

A diet that encourages the person on it to bake and consume nothing but brownies. Morning, noon, and night. Apparently, some world renowned chef on The Food Network mentioned this was the diet that helped Oprah lose weight, and keep it off, and thus, launched this obscure and disgusting diet into unrelenting popularity amongst bitter, resentful, chocolate obsessed fat chicks, who are just too lazy to try and lose weight the old fashion way: with exercise, and a normal, healthy diet.

Girl 1: "What the hell are you eating?"
Girl 2: "Brownies! Tee hee!"
Girl 1: "Brownies? You weigh at least 250 pounds! That's the last thing you should be eating!"
Girl 2: "Tee hee! I'm on the Brownie Diet! Oprah got skinny on it and I'm going to do the same! Tee hee!"
Girl 1: "You have got to be kidding me."
Girl 2: "Nope! TEE HEE! I'm a pretty, pretty sunflower, and I'm going to be a pretty pretty thin sunflower soon!"
Girl 1: "You're going to be a landing strip at the airport if you stay on that disgusting diet."
Girl 2: "Nuh uh! TEE HEE!!!! BROWNIES! WHEE!"
Girl 1: "Airhead."
Girl 2: "CHOCOLATE! WHEE!"
Girl 1: "3 words: gastric bypass surgery."
Girl 2: "Huh?"
Girl 1: "Nothing. Here, have another brownie."
Girl 2: "OK! Tee hee! Pretty pretty sunflower! On my "off" day, I'm allowed to have anything I want, but I think I'll just eat brownies that day, too!"

The Brownie Diet by Sucks2BU January 5, 2005