Ten-Year-Old Man

A male in their early twenties to late thirties who is thus technically an adult but has the mentality of a ten-year-old boy. Rather than being a productive member of society, i.e. seeking employment and paying taxes, he chooses to live with his parents, sit on his ass, play video games, and talk shit on the internet. He thinks people who slave away at jobs they hate all day are fools, but, in fact, when his parents either die or kick his sorry ass into the street and he realizes he has the survival skills of a disfigured newborn baby bird, he'll see the joke is on him.

Also known as a 30-Year-Old Boy.

Productive member of society: Why don't you grow up and move out of your parents' house?
Ten-Year-Old Man: Because I don't have to and I know how good I have it. You shouldn't have moved out, dummy-head!
Productive member of society: Right, enjoy having to be quiet after 10pm and asking for gas money to drive to the mall and drool over girls who are by now half your age.

Ten-Year-Old Man: I don't know what my problem is with girls.
Productive member of society: Gee, let me think, oh maybe it's because you're a 25-year-old man who still lives at home.
Ten-Year-Old Man: What's wrong with that? I save money that way.
Productive member of society: Girls want someone who can actually provide for himself, not someone who's too scared to leave the nest. Also, if the opportunity to have sex DID present itself, they don't want to have it on your parents' couch.

Ten-Year-Old Man: How do you do dishes?
Productive member of society: What do you mean, don't you do dishes at home?
Ten-Year-Old Man: No, my mom does them.
Productive member of society: Your mom? Aren't you like 30 years old? No wonder nobody likes you.
Ten-Year-Old Man: Oh yeah, log on to World of Warcraft and say that shit!
Productive member of society: Whatever, loser.

Ten-Year-Old Man by MastaRoe March 21, 2011