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Telesford

1. Often known as the sexiest of all sexy beasts. Females know this person as the "other God of love". Giggity. Makes females horny on contact whether by plain speech or flirtation. Gives females orgasms by looking at them. Plain beast of love.

2. Very powerful name. This person often demands respect. If not given, this person will either resort to brain power or use his/her body power. Often known to be dangerous by either method.

3. A smart person, usually the top of his class, who doesn't particularly like to fight, although in a dangerous situation, will unleash his/her inner beast, like a tiger he/she will destroy the person starting with the face and ending with the destruction of the person.

4. this person is usually the best friend of a Martinez or a Jackman or a Smith.
"Did you see Telesford the other day. He/she totally got me hot and bothered when he/she walked past me."

"I know. He/she totally demands respect."
by joeman1642 April 7, 2009
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telefornication

Also known as "phone sex."

(phrase invented by AJ)
-I have been having these constant urges for telefornication.
-We telefornicated all night.
-When you move to Knight's Bridge, are you going to telefornicate with your lover?
by looover May 31, 2006
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Telford Cheesecake

The act of inserting cheesecake of any kind in to a woman's vagina and eating it out the practice started and was popularized in Telford England.
Bobby had to choose between sex or desert so he choose both by having a Telford cheesecake.
by shadendays November 15, 2009
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Telford Monner

Also know as the Telly telly mon mons, this elusive beast has a mono-brow the size of Wales which is also his homeland.

He enjoys going out on a Wednesday night and drinking 2litres of Strongbow and getting fkd up, then going home at 1am and talking about his feelings.
Exaple 1:

Guy 1: Did you see someone let that Wookie into the Su tonight?

Guy 2: Oh no that was just the Telford Monner

Example 2:

" I went down on a girl last night, I swear she was so hairy she could of been the Telford Monner!
by Telly_Mons December 7, 2011
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Telford

Telford was developed in the 1970s as a 'New Town'.

Keen not to repeat all the errors that made other new towns such dreary crime ridden dumps, such as Milton Keynes or Stevenage, Telford Development Corporation came up with some new and refreshing mistakes all of their own, making Telford possible the biggest planning disaster in the whole UK.

In addition to being the chav capital of the UK, it has the world's largest Primark store, the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the solar system and has only about 30% of the population in employment. These are all Polish.

It does have some good features. Every year without fail it wins the league table of 'The Most Godless City In The World' (True) having lowest rate of Christian Church attendance in the known universe, even beating Tehran.
Telford: Chav Capital, 'Most Godless City In The World' winner 1999 to 2011, dump.
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Telefornication

I'm busy now, can't take part in the telefornication.
by Distributor May 29, 2020
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teesnord

A human being that is obscene, obese, and consumes all resources in the planet.

(also a failure of a music producer)
Guys, Teesnord is so bad...he just ate an entire refrigerator niBBa.
by Gobnord May 30, 2018
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