Tardpox 

A sudden affliction of stupidity, brought on by close association with an infected dumb-ass.

Damn, I locked my keys in the car! That loser I slept with last night must have given me tardpox.

Whoa, I must have tardpox. I can't remember your name, but you were great in bed! Um, the front door is to your left - you're walking into the closet, stupid.

Tardpox by TheBeak November 21, 2009

tardpole

Genetically disfigured spermatozoa which can potentially bore mentally and/or physically impaired offspring once mated with an unfertilized egg. Common among male inbred species (see: hicks) and those who undertake long periods of celibacy without masturbation. The chances of producing tardpoles can be minimized by strict adherence to ALL of the following:

1. Prevention of any injury to the gonads.
2. Avoidance of mating with one's sister, cousin, and/or other close relative.
3. Frequent stimulation of the penis until after ejaculation has been achieved.

"Dude, Ortiz just got beaned in the sack by a 95 mph fastball...He'll be shooting tardpoles from now on."

tardpole by MJDP May 4, 2008

tardpoon 

to tardpoon someone is the act of which a wheelchair bound person is shoved off their wheelchair in order for the tardpooner to sniff/lick the seat for pleasure. This is known as tardpooning. A successfull tardpoon is one where :

There is maximum impact on the shove, (sometimes it is more of a tackle then a shove)

The victim is more crippled/retarded

The victim squeals/flails more in the process

The strength of the odour/taste of the wheelchair seat.

"hey you wanna go tardpooning today?"

"i an a professional tardpooner."

tardpoon by hoonstar June 3, 2009