Spacetime Philosophy

The branch of thought that asks what it means to exist in a universe where past, present, and future are equally real, and your sense of "now" is just a local illusion. If all moments exist simultaneously, are you still responsible for past mistakes? Can you change the future if it already exists somewhere? And if time is just another dimension, is death just a rotation into a direction you can't perceive? Spacetime philosophy is the art of making Einstein's theories even more existentially confusing, transforming physics into questions about fate, free will, and whether you should have had that third cup of coffee.

Example: "After learning about the block universe theory—that all moments in time exist simultaneously—he sat in spacetime philosophy. 'If my past, present, and future all coexist,' he thought, 'then the version of me that didn't mess up that relationship is out there, somewhere in spacetime, probably happier. And the version that messes up worse is also out there. I am all of them, and none of them. This is either profound or a really good excuse for therapy.' He then went to get coffee, which happened in all timelines simultaneously."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spacetime-Probability Philosophy

The branch of thought that asks what meaning, responsibility, or even identity can exist in a reality where every possibility is actualized somewhere. If every choice you could make is made by some version of you, are you responsible for any of them? If there's a branch where you're a saint and a branch where you're a sinner, which one is the "real" you? And if infinite versions of you exist across the probability dimension, is death just a local phenomenon, with other branches where you're still alive, possibly reading this definition and wondering the same thing? Spacetime-probability philosophy doesn't provide answers, but it does provide an excellent excuse for every bad decision: "Somewhere, a version of me didn't do this, so statistically, I'm only half responsible."

Spacetime-Probability Philosophy Example: "After a particularly bad breakup, he sat in deep spacetime-probability philosophy. 'Somewhere,' he thought, 'in another probability branch, we're still together, happy, maybe even watching a movie. And somewhere else, we never even met. And somewhere else, I'm the one who left first. So which version is the real me? Which version is the real her? And why does the version that's currently crying on the couch feel so much more real than all the others?' He then realized that philosophy, while profound, did not help with the crying."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026