Slamtarded

The state of being so slammed drunk that one no longer acts with the full cognitive capacity of a normally functioning human being. The act of getting slamtarded often directly results in nights of unmatched glory as well as epic stories. Side effects include but are not limited to: fun, embarrassment, painful mornings, inability to control the volume of one's voice, loss of ability to speak coherently, and, in extreme cases, waking up with a woman you could have sworn was about 150 pounds lighter last night.

Stated concisely: being so drunk that you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the face of the earth.

I started hooking up with some broad last night in my friend's closet, but then she stopped and told me to tell her what her name was and I was so slamtarded I couldn't do it.

by Ready for some B.T.E. November 29, 2009

Slamwarden

A friend who is usually sober that regulates your illicit bar behavior. he often talks the drunk out of you and watches over you like a guardian angel. He will protect you from sexual attacks from SlamPigs, SlamHogs, and other vile women of the night looking to fornicate.

Matt: Youre lucky that I was your Slamwarden last night.

Greg: True Story, if it wasnt for you i wouldve been waist deep in a fat chick!

by randomguy72781 September 1, 2011

samatarded

adjective
pronounced: sam-uh-thar-did

Trying to give a compliment but framing it with a comment that is borderline rude- not because you want to be mean, but rather because you are just socially awkward.

similar to a backhanded compliment but is not said with the intention of hurting the other person.

"A: your son is more handsome than I expected
B: wow I can't believe you just said that. that was really samatarded. "

by swtrans September 13, 2011

smatarded

Somone who is smart yet retarded in a sense. Particularly, a person who is smatarded is only smart when intelligence is being called upon. Otherwise mainly random, stupid, mentally handicapped, dumbfounded, and ADD. Most of the time, unintelligent people cannot see through this type of person and assume that they really are just completely stupid, but on the inside the smatarded person is laughing at them because they are the lesser.

Joe: Bro, I need help on my Pre-calculus... but nobody 'cept Shmoe is around.. and he's just stupid!
*Shmoe quickly and hastily solves the problem*
Shmoe: Only believe half of what you see;)
Joe: Whoa, he's like.. smart but retarded..smatarded!

by Wolfywoof March 24, 2011

smamtarded

the state of being smashed, hammered and retarded from the over consumption of alcohol

Neal was so smamtarded last night, he hooked up with that whale

That girl sent a ten second projectile of barf all over my house. She was smamtarded.

by dragonslayer523 June 3, 2009

slutarded

Over zealous sexual appetite, low self esteem and the inability to keep one’s legs closed leads to poor decision making and inevitable hook-ups with douche bags.

She got syphillis from being so slutarded.

by FireBox June 27, 2006

Smartarded

When somebody uses intelligence in a profoundly stupid way.

:: Smartarded ::
John wrote a brilliant computer virus that crashed tens of thousands of computers... and he wrote his name on it...

Kelly's genius security system was flawless - it was then she realized she locked himself out.

Bob knew his last 30 years were well spent, the fruits of his labor were at last complete. His army of robotic carebears waged war against humanity.

by Eric C Carberry August 30, 2006