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A Shane Holmberg is a gelatinous yet mildly sentient blob. Is currently married to a woman half his age, which he had been grooming for the role since she was only 3 years old. The attempt failed as she still has enough grey matter to seek others such as a Tyrone when not being forced to perform coitus with Jabba the Hut.
The Shane Holmberg spend most of its time abusing chairs and making meals of roasted shoe leather in EZbake oven, as they are not allowed near a real oven for obvious reasons.

A Shane Holmberg’s diet mainly consists of old shoes and soy milk squeezed from his wife's gaping anus.
They also are known for their vehemently supporting the Tobacco industry, by sucking down more than 140,000 chemicals a day, per pack.
Girl A: Mary did you hear what that Shane Holmberg down the block did the other day?
Girl B: Eat another shoe, or did they finally burn down the house?
Girl A: You know they’re not allowed near a oven, and no they caught stealing chairs from a local convention!O
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