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(n) The founder of the high-profile culture-interest sorority known as Eta Beta Buddha (EBB). As the head Buddha of this society, she graces the presence of her understudies with the elusive "Hindu-head," a coveted practice of the ancient Buddhas handed down from the ages. Renowned for her utmost skill in the art of petting cows and other bovine, she has stunned the peaceful folk of India with her grace in this delicate art. Known in science as a Shaliklet, this rare phenomena arises from the NMR spectra of only the rarest and purest substances known on our humble earth. Thus far, the only known natural product that has been able to produce this beautiful and mystifying pattern are the tears of Head Buddha herself. These tears are collected by her loyal followers at lunar and solar eclipses and preserved until the next ritual calls for a Shaliklet to be produced to restore faith in the world. A recent political movement has been to designate a female EBB follower as a "Buddhette" rather than a "Buddha.” However, this movement has thus far failed due to the letters “Buddha” being elucidated on ancient inscriptions discovered on the Buddhetta Stone by archaeologists in ancient Buddhapotamia. Of course, this is all quite draining, and so Head Buddha must come to rest in her humble abode hidden away in the secret garden of the south. During these hours, she is not to be disturbed as the disruption of her deep meditation may destroy the space-time continuum and life as we know it.
After the tears of the Head Buddha Shalika have been collected and analyzed, the Shakiklet arises when the coupling constants approach such proximity that they blend together in an awe-inspiring pattern that brings tears to the eyes of grown men.
by Carol123 January 22, 2011
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