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Read a Magazine 

The performance, or planned performance, anticipation of performance of having mind blowing sex to the point of you questioning if it really did happen. Almost like innocently sitting down and reading a magazine.

Symptoms: you lose 30 minutes to an hour of your time, track of time, you limbs feel like they are going to fall off, you can't stand properly, question if it really happened, but your mind thinks you sat down to read a magazine.
When she sat on the couch in front of him, her mind was already getting ready to read a magazine.

Get ready to read a magazine baby, as I have a feeling as soon as you are infront of me I will be getting to read.
Read a Magazine by jessikka_rabbitt December 8, 2009
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read a magazine 

yo, let's read a magazine
read a magazine by Varna August 16, 2006

go read a MAGAzine

when you see someone wearing a MAGA hat and that ruins your mood so you tell them to go read a magazine to spend their free time and to get away with them
guy 1 : hey dude I think the best thing you should do right now to spend your free time is go read a MAGAzine
guy 2 : a what?
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briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
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