Rasputia

big ass black lady from 2007 comedy "Norbit".
played by eddie murphy

known for her phrase: "how YOU doin?!!!"

famous quotes:

"I don't weigh no damn 300 lbs. I weigh 165! How YOU doin'? "

Rasputia: Rasputia gets into her car with Norbit and her chest keeps pressing the horn God damm it, Norbit, how many times I got to tell you when you drive my car, don't adjust my seat?
Norbit: I haven't touched your seat.
Rasputia: Then why's it up so damn far?
Norbit: It looks like it's back as far as it goes, Rasputia.
Rasputia: No, you moved it! I can tell! Cuz look, when I inhale, my titty make the horn honk! See, listen!
horn honks
Rasputia: See that?
horn honks again
Rasputia: That ain't right!
horn honks again
Norbit: I hear it.
Rasputia: Uh huh, that scientifically proves that you adjusted my seat!
Norbit: That's not science.
Rasputia: It is and just let it go!
Norbit: It's not science.
Rasputia: I said 'let it go!'
Norbit: I'm just saying...
Rasputia punches him in the face
Rasputia: growls I said it was science, god damm it!

Gasps and looks appalled Of course I'm wearing bottoms!
lifts up her [roll of belly fat covering her bathing suit bottom

and when described by a pimp: "an escalade in a wedding dress"

Rasputia by anonymously_h00d7689 January 16, 2009

Grigori Rasputin 

Grigori Rasputin had to be poisoned, shot several times, clubbed and then tossed into a frozen river before he was killed.

When he was found, his autopsy showed that he had died of hypothermia, despite the fact that he was found with a bullet hole in his forehead. Also, despite having consumed enough cyanide to kill several men, the autopsy showed no traces of poison.

Some accounts of his death suggest that his murderers had castrated him as well. A museum in St. Petersburg claims to have Rasputin's 12 inch long penis in a jar on display.

Stanley: If Grigori Rasputin and Sasquatch got into a fight, who would win?
Stuart: Motherfucking Grigori dude.

Grigori Rasputin by Studogmillionaire August 30, 2010

Rasputinism 

To be killed in a protracted, almost ridiculous way.

Derives from the case of Grigori Rasputin who was poisoned with cyanide, shot at least twice and then thrown in the River Neva. He was then dug up by Bolsheviks and his remains set on fire.

The posthumous execution of Benito Mussolini in 1945 and Oliver Cromwell in 1660 was classic Rasputinism.

Rasputinism by Tyburn January 2, 2008

Zealous Rasputin 

The sexual act in which a bro manages to insert his flaccid dong into a woman's ass while simultaneously incubating his entire scrotum in her vagina. The goal is not to achieve sexual satisfaction, it is an act done in the shameless pursuit of giving warmth to one's genitals. The female need not know the motivation, but generally is not pleased with the outcome. The endgame, my friends, is to fall asleep in this state.

Yo Byron, did you hear that Gilgamesh pulled a Zealous Rasputin on Taybeesha last night? Oh yeah dude for sure, I heard that it was quite the event. She was reasonably livid about the whole thing but she grew to accept it. Who doesn't want a little bit of warmth in their life nigga?

Zealous Rasputin by Manos Imilanololloolo June 29, 2013

Rasputin 

Russia's greatest love machine.

Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead.

Rasputin by Manx Bloke January 13, 2008

Rasputin would do it! 

A catchphrase that can be said in almost every situation.

Person 1: U culdnt haedshot me u were 10 miles awai
Person 2: Rasputin would do it!

Rasputin would do it! by [FP]Strider October 11, 2006

Rasputined 

To be rectally infused with the
bodily fluids of a hairy peasant that will
proceed to have a spontaneous erotic
intercourse with anyone on sight without
verifying consent.

I Rasputined your mom last night.

Rasputined by ProxyFoxy January 11, 2017